equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages

   I'm only stalking you cause I know you have an extra burger in that Mcdonalds bag.

   i like that you try to compete with me. At least you have a goal...unrealistic and unatainable, but at least its a goal!

   it doesn't matter if you don't like my personality... I have several more!

   I feel a spree coming on... Now its up to you.... Shopping or Killing?

   There are two kinds of people in this world, and I don't like them.

   You might have a million dollar body, but you got a food stamp face!

   When you wake up at 3am for no reason, there is an 80% chance that someone is staring at you...

   oh, your talking to me again? You must have just broken up with your boyfriend.

   only two people with the combined IQ of a salad bar would name a kid NorthWest

   my ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!

   I didn't say you were stupid, I said that "i see a pole and body glitter in your future"

   I haven't lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.

   I like the sound you make when you shut up

   Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you've made in their life. It's not me. I think your an idiot.

   i cant stop drinking the coffee. If I stop drinking the coffee then I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words putting into sentence doings.

   water is the leading cause of drowning...

   If cockroaches can survive nuclear war and chemical warfare, then I want to know what is in a can of RAID?

   just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm all alone, I have food and internet!

   If I die at walmart, PLEASE, drag my body to Cabella's

   WARNING!!! Drug use may cause memory loss and....uhm....