eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I made a hamburger so big tonight the top bun looked like a Yarmulke.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Asked my teacher if I was interrupting. She said, "No, I'm just grading some cheese!!"
←Rate | 10-13-2011 00:59 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend said to quit hitting him. I told him those were fighting words!
←Rate | 10-16-2011 18:26 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Serving Size: Serves six adults or one ten year old.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 09:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear teaching Geography is where it is at these days!
←Rate | 10-20-2011 22:50 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OR you could go for the gay approach...."One man's junk is another man's treasure"
←Rate | 10-21-2011 11:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last women I hooked up with at the retirement home told me, "If you break it you buy it"! You know what that hip replacement cost me
←Rate | 10-31-2011 01:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think that the 4 page instructions/warnning packet for Adderall, would include narritive pictures.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 11:57 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All dyslexics rejoice! For today is your day! 11/11/11 yppaH
←Rate | 11-11-2011 08:47 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must assume that my cell phone is pro-choice based off the number of calls it has aborted!
←Rate | 11-16-2011 20:13 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa is the original Voyager!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 22:32 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎20-30 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:02 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claiming my heart back, wrapping it up in aluminum foil and putting it back in the freezer. You dig?
←Rate | 12-13-2011 23:42 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember the first habit I picked up. The other nuns just stared in horror!
←Rate | 12-14-2011 17:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"My fingers smell like cheeseburger" is a statement that is bound to confuse others unless prefaced with a statement about having just eaten a cheeseburger. Otherwise, they just look at you like you're dirty.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 16:34 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the rate I am coughing, I expect a "Six Pack" or an "Brain Aneurysm" buy the end of the week!
←Rate | 12-21-2011 20:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kids are lucky, their crossing guard dresses as Santa every year. When I was a kid my crossing guard looked like Carla from Cheers.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 09:49 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kids are nestled all snug in their bed, while Stanley's wifes on her knees giving him.. a foot massage!!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 20:28 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My family is from so far out in the country that my mammy doesn't know she is free. No one will tell her b/c her cornbread off the hook.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 22:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  



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