Yaj Funny Status Messages

   If stalking was considered a romantic gesture I'd probably be married by now.

   It's wierd paying taxes as a stoner knowing that a portion will be used trying to incarcerate yourself.

   Joan Rivers doesnt look a day over $225,000

   Dear teeth whiteners. .. you have a set of teeth on the bottom too.. you're like the guys at the gym that don't do legs..

   As long as I work with somebody named Mike, Wednesdays will never be boring.

   maybe the Giants should sign Charlie Sheen so he can teach him how to start "winning"

   Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?

   I'm not a reIigious person, I dont believe in a god, but that wont stop me from wishing you all a MERRY CHRlSTMAS!!!

   The best way to live a miserable life is to pay attention to what other people are saying about you.

   Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.

   "Knock Knock! .... "Who's there" . . . .Not the Malaysian airplane pilot

   I wish "Earth Day" was a realityh show in which we can vote people off of the planet.

   Just got a message from Jaheem Kofi, the kid I'm feeding for $.50 a day in Ivory Coast... he wants his NY Ranger 2014 Stanley Cup Champions T-shirt in small.

   If you ever think that English is not a shtty language, just remember that read and lead rhyme, and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead

   If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.

   It seems as if I come across the most scary spiders while I'm in the bathroom. For that, I am somewhat grateful

   wonders if I have ever eaten an egg that came from a chicken I ate

   It's only October 17th and I'm already sick of seeing anything regarding black friday .. seriously people have you no respect?? its african-american friday, dammit!

   The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades..

   In memory of Whitney Houston, all flags should be lowered a crack..