Truman Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Technology has improved men's sex lives over the last 20 years! The pages of Porn-tube don't get stuck together!
←Rate | 01-31-2019 14:43 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon It seems only yesterday, my dear old mum telling me to wash my food before eating it! A lovely woman, but terrible sandwiches!
←Rate | 02-02-2019 02:22 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The downside of fame! I can't walk out of a nice restaurant without immediately being harassed and hounded by a waiter waving a bill?
←Rate | 02-02-2019 06:34 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Because of Shania Twain I haven't been impressed much since 1997.
←Rate | 02-02-2019 06:39 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon For a ski team, these guys in the 7-11 sure have a lot of guns!
←Rate | 02-05-2019 19:16 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator!
←Rate | 02-11-2019 07:45 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just helping someone find the chocolates I ate yesterday!
←Rate | 02-13-2019 15:27 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon St Peter: "so..how did you die?" Me: "I was sat on a beanbag and the house caught fire"
←Rate | 02-15-2019 04:46 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was kind of surprised at all the swearing when I unplugged the church organ to charge my phone?
←Rate | 02-21-2019 01:37 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Chinese pal is very upset about Peter Tork, and has been muttering "I'm a bereaver" all day?
←Rate | 02-22-2019 08:36 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see the mother in law's put up a new profile pic! It's got 23 yikes already!
←Rate | 03-01-2019 06:13 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went on a cycling holiday last year, and it was exhausting! If I do it again I think I'm going for a smaller caravan!
←Rate | 03-02-2019 10:00 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are Nicolas Cage movies terrible because he's in them? Or is Nicolas Cage in movies because they are terrible?
←Rate | 04-10-2019 16:49 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so adorable how badgers and foxes take little naps at the side of the road all the time!
←Rate | 04-26-2019 12:31 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon These Kenyan Airlines passengers seem to be down to Earth guys?
←Rate | 07-03-2019 09:39 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anybody knows any lonely old people preparing to eat Christmas dinner alone? Please let me know as I need to borrow some chairs!
←Rate | 12-07-2019 07:20 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just been reading a letter from my Chinese penpal in Wuhan and apparently they hav
←Rate | 01-25-2020 09:12 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're just not buying enough guns! More are needed!
←Rate | 03-27-2020 01:24 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tried oscillating today! Not a fan!
←Rate | 03-28-2020 12:23 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral.
←Rate | 04-03-2020 07:13 by Truman Comments (0)  




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