Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, send them all their stuff they left at your place.
←Rate | 10-15-2013 12:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insomnia is your body's way of asking for an orgasm.
←Rate | 10-15-2013 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a donkey use the zebra crossing to cross the road. What a smart ass!
←Rate | 10-15-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just burnt my mouth on a slice of pizza and now I totally understand what betrayal feels like.
←Rate | 10-17-2013 12:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laziness is a dish best served delivered.
←Rate | 10-17-2013 12:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
←Rate | 10-18-2013 02:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to hit snooze from the back.
←Rate | 10-18-2013 09:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't fix stupid but you can avoid dating it.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 04:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm available if you wanna dance with somebody or wanna feel the heat with somebody... just sayin.
←Rate | 10-21-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing
←Rate | 10-22-2013 08:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be the change you wish the homeless people didn't know you had
←Rate | 10-23-2013 03:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is actually Kanye West's second marriage, as he's been divorced from reality for many years now.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 12:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an adult, but not "pay my bills on time" adult.
←Rate | 10-27-2013 13:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clark Kent’s mask is a pair of glasses? And no one recognised him? I wore glasses to the job I was fired from and I was still kicked out.
←Rate | 10-29-2013 14:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop, drop and roll won't work in hell.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 07:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't relate to people who "forget to eat"
←Rate | 10-31-2013 14:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe people still go to the gym when they can just post it as their status and go have ice cream instead.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Officer, that's medicinal gasoline and matches.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's just have sex.. I don't need another friend.
←Rate | 11-02-2013 15:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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