Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Mother, I would appreciate it if you didn't use scented laundry detergent, I don't feel like walking around smelling like Fresh Mountain Breeze...
←Rate | 07-23-2010 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is only one woman who has truly changed me. It was my mother and I was a baby.
←Rate | 08-04-2010 03:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On our 1st date she wanted to take me to a strip club, but I wasn't ready to meet her mother.
←Rate | 08-07-2010 12:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a text saying... I'm Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good. Umm... you wanna come over?
←Rate | 08-09-2010 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f*ck up"
←Rate | 08-15-2010 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother Earth will soon die. We still have the universe. :D
←Rate | 08-15-2010 18:58 Comments (1)  


   messageicon can officially call myself a man today, made cupcakes on my own without the help of mother!
←Rate | 08-17-2010 20:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You go to bed right now mister... How dare you post on here about your mother you are grounded for a week with no lemon bar deserts!
←Rate | 08-18-2010 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon got a job...single mother and can't even get help from the government because I make $100 too much...might as well be on welfare!
←Rate | 08-22-2010 19:41 Comments (3)  


   messageicon My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
←Rate | 08-23-2010 21:26 Comments (3)  


   messageicon God said: "I cannot be everywhere, So I created MOTHER!" The Devil Replied: "Even I can't be everywhere, So I created MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!"
←Rate | 08-26-2010 19:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing punch buggy with your mother
←Rate | 08-29-2010 19:39 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting snubbed by the left turn arrow at an intersection after waiting your turn is annoying. Getting skipped twice? I will murder you, light! But a third time?! Clearly a valid legal defense for blowing right through that mother f*cker.
←Rate | 09-03-2010 05:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd stand a much greater chance at checking out those spam porn emails if they didn't read something like, "young cuties horses XXX mother/son gangbang bondage erotica!" Uh, all at the same time, or...?
←Rate | 09-03-2010 06:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to wish a happy Labor Day to all the mother out there.
←Rate | 09-06-2010 08:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like all moms, there are days when Mother Nature just wants to feel sexy. Somehow, this leads to hurricanes.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 09:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just changed my profile date of birth and was really loving all the attention until my mom wished me a Happy Birthday. My own mother didn't even know my real birthday is not until April.
←Rate | 09-09-2010 18:18 by Troy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
←Rate | 09-12-2010 01:04 by @seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're a mother when you hide in the bathroom to be alone!
←Rate | 09-15-2010 00:57 by gb Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
←Rate | 09-15-2010 15:33 Comments (1)  



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