snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If there's a sombrero on my doorknob it means I'm in my room eating nachos and don't want to share.
←Rate | 11-12-2014 17:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a rat,,, I wouldn't give anyone my ass.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 16:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think,,, 20 years ago my television set weighed 350lbs.. And my wife weighed 105lbs ...
←Rate | 07-07-2012 13:40 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?,,,,, Good times........ Good times
←Rate | 07-12-2013 09:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my facebook account in three days... But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave
←Rate | 10-21-2012 09:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon A TV chef just explained, "it's the heat that starts the cooking process"... Hmmm,, Let me just write that down
←Rate | 09-04-2013 09:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m the world record holder for the most arguments won against a woman................................................. 1 to be exact
←Rate | 02-20-2013 18:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: Make tomorrow's colonoscopy special by eating all of this glitter!
←Rate | 04-11-2015 16:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon [wakes up from a 20 year coma]. Sweet,,, X-Files still goin strong
←Rate | 01-27-2016 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Show me on the doll where gas prices touched you.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 14:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
←Rate | 04-21-2012 08:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, YOU'LL FIND SOME WAY TO BLAME ME FOR THAT TOO, WON'T YOU, SUSAN?
←Rate | 04-16-2012 07:07 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Just saw a tumbleweed roll past my last post
←Rate | 10-17-2012 20:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always take a number at the deli, and I've been keeping them.... Eventually I'll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn
←Rate | 05-24-2013 08:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really have no idea what a Kardashian is but,,,, From what I can gather, it's an exercise bike for basketball players.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 18:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if they sold ten-ply toilet paper, I would still fold it at least twice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have trust issues.
←Rate | 06-21-2013 18:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a chihuahua
←Rate | 08-06-2012 12:30 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I glued the TV remote to my wife. I'm expecting her to go missing any second now.
←Rate | 08-06-2013 08:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 10:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.
←Rate | 09-06-2014 09:32 by snotty Comments (0)  




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