scottyp Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "Lucy, in the sky, with diamonds"~~John Lennon....world's worst Clue player
←Rate | 08-27-2013 21:38 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooked on Phonics werked fer me :-)
←Rate | 02-28-2011 12:53 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend bought me a can of Axe bodyspray for my birthday......However, I live in a predominantly black neighborhood so around here we call is Ask.......
←Rate | 06-28-2012 10:32 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't have my budget balanced by tomorrow--I am just going to shut down...
←Rate | 04-06-2011 19:23 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I slept like a baby last night,,,,of course minus the peeing and pooping on myself.......
←Rate | 04-17-2011 09:05 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wayne Gretzky's son has opened a Parmesan cheese factory and it's ranked number 1 in the world.......He will now go down in history.....forever known as, "The Grate One"......
←Rate | 06-13-2014 11:08 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'm going to have my OCD support group meeting at my home today. If nothing else, at least my house will get cleaned...
←Rate | 03-29-2011 08:47 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if you don't believe in the Mayan calender, somewhere in the back of your mind you're thinking "I wonder if that sh!ts for real".....
←Rate | 06-05-2012 10:59 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Luke, I'm like totally your father. Party on." ~~Garth Vader
←Rate | 03-15-2012 14:21 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon This one time, I had a goldfish that could totally break dance on my carpet..........but only for about 20 seconds...
←Rate | 06-04-2014 10:38 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama leaned in, pointed to German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and murmured, "I tapped that." #NSA
←Rate | 10-24-2013 21:39 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Sterling, Solange, and Michael Sam walk into a bar,,,,who am I kidding, Donald Sterling would NEVER was into a bar with either of them.....
←Rate | 05-15-2014 19:06 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon its Sunday morning and I'm in a liquor store wearing nothing but a bathing suit and flipflops..so yes Mrs. cashier..im pretty sure I dont need a reciept
←Rate | 11-11-2012 11:39 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching the Army/Navy game and Santiago is playing quarterback for Army...I'm just sitting here thinking, "I'll be damned, the Code Red worked"
←Rate | 12-13-2014 17:12 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon On-Star has made it so much more difficult for me to take my time when I'm robbing accident victims....:-)
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:24 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to thank Jesus of Nazareth for the good deal I got on my tires and Jesus of Guatemala for the speedy service.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 09:02 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cats are really not all that bad...................It turns out, I've been cooking them wrong this whole time...
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:01 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS.....New England Patriots to start wearing an asterisk on their helmets....
←Rate | 01-23-2015 07:15 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon CNN reported that Bruce Jenner got back ended yesterday....I also heard something about a car crash....;-)
←Rate | 02-08-2015 09:39 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon God traffic sucks today. So glad that 47 per cent of the people in this country don't even try otherwise traffic would be even worse!
←Rate | 09-20-2012 10:50 by scottyp Comments (0)  




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