minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I was thinking about adoption to fill the void in my life, if only I could find someone willing to adopt me..
←Rate | 04-15-2013 21:22 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon First rule of ADHD club: Never talk about..Nice hat! You ever own a hamster? I did. Lost him in the dryer. Do you like dachshunds? Watch me do a cartwheel! Okay, who wants brownies?
←Rate | 03-06-2013 17:58 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m having potato salad for lunch. Well, potatoes and olives. Fermented potatoes. I’m having a vodka martini for lunch.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 22:33 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon What a shock! Got a letter in the mail that read "If you ever want to see you're husband alive again, leave $100,000 in unmarked bills in the trash can on Darby Street". Seriously, does no one know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' anymore?
←Rate | 01-16-2013 21:28 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nik Wallenda just walked across the Grand Canyon on a tightrope with no net. I made banana pudding whilst three sheets to the wind and didn't burn the kitchen down. Your move, Nik.
←Rate | 06-23-2013 22:16 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone know what an 'Ofah Queue' is? Because that's what my husband said he got me for Christmas this year.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 12:09 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am only going to say this once. I want the video involving me, the Cadbury Bunny and the marshmallow Peeps returned to me by tomorrow. No questions asked.
←Rate | 03-24-2013 19:16 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I just Googled the Ten Commandments.... Wow, I am so screwed......
←Rate | 03-19-2013 22:21 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who needs beer goggles - I've got vodka binoculars.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 12:06 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw an ad that read: "Fluffer wanted for movie set". They must have a lot of pillows, huh? Well, I sent my resume in, wish me luck!
←Rate | 02-03-2013 16:38 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently a swizzle stick is NOT a wand. Further, I have been advised by the bouncers that I will henceforth be unable to go “Bippity Boppity Boo” on anyone else’s arse tonight.
←Rate | 10-02-2013 22:18 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 23:04 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Busy planning my next big move. Do I lay on couch, or chill in the recliner? I've only got one shot at this, so I gotta make it count.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 22:28 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really wasn't planning on drinking all that beer this evening. The pretzels made me do it.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 22:17 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got kicked out of another restaurant this afternoon for breast feeding. Hey - when my husband wants titty, he wants titty.....
←Rate | 03-18-2013 21:36 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon That's right sexy fella, I see you over there, looking at me, locking eyes with me, pointing at me, whispering to the policeman "that's her"......
←Rate | 01-12-2013 22:04 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where the heck is that "Polka" button on Facebook that everyone keeps talking about?! I have my accordion and I'm ready to boogie.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 14:48 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tripped while getting on the escalator and fell down the stairs.....for 2 hours.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 13:53 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, I'm off to check out the Perseid Meteor Shower...Oh, who am I kidding? I'm gonna get drunk, fall over backwards and try to see Uranus.
←Rate | 08-12-2012 00:34 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Basketball. Pfft. Running back and forth. Making passes. Dribbling. I do that every Friday night.
←Rate | 03-30-2013 19:25 by minnie haha Comments (0)  



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