bego Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you. Awesome.
←Rate | 07-02-2012 22:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Phone on silent. 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest. Nobody calls All damn Day.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 21:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
←Rate | 10-10-2012 22:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:47 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon Study finds that a man looks into a woman's eyes for 8.2 seconds if he is attracted to her, 4.5 seconds if he is not, and 0.0 seconds if she's a C-cup or above
←Rate | 01-22-2012 21:57 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear CocaCola, McDonalds, and other massive companies, unless you have a new product for me, stop showing me commercials. I didn't forget about you. I have never stood at a vending machine and thought, what's that thing in the red can? I promise.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 14:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come the week always lasts longer than the money you have?
←Rate | 06-19-2011 21:09 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying “I forgive you” is the kindest way to tell someone: “I still think it's your fault.”
←Rate | 08-31-2011 15:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
←Rate | 11-22-2012 21:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people look for a perfect relationship, but all I want is a cheeseburger that looks like the ones on commercials!
←Rate | 08-06-2012 22:37 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When advertising your business on the side of your car it’s a good idea not to drive like a complete as&hole
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 21:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yup, My girlfriend went out for drinks with the girls from her work... Can't wait for her to get back and tell me EVERYTHING that's wrong with me.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 21:28 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Graduation speech: I would like to thank Wikipedia, and copy/paste. - I'm out bitc$es
←Rate | 04-10-2012 21:09 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If girlfriend has no texts in their phone history, you are totally being cheated on.
←Rate | 02-21-2012 22:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when I'm trying to kill a spider but then I lose track of it and I become a victim in my own home
←Rate | 04-19-2012 20:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like when someone in a heated argument turns to me and says "You agree with me right?" What they are really asking is "Am I going to have to yell at you like this dumbass over here?"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, the good old days before Facebook, when you didn't care whether anyone "liked" you or not.
←Rate | 01-26-2012 21:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's too many people out here who have the balls to state their opinion. But not enough balls to be that person who makes ish happen.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 21:43 by BEGO Comments (0)  




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