Zinc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon perfectly capable of lying about whether or not he likes big butts.
←Rate | 12-29-2012 16:05 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Poor (adj.) When you have too much month at the end of your money
←Rate | 06-10-2013 00:01 by zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman can be satisfied with 3 inches.. it doesn't matter if it's Visa or MasterCard.
←Rate | 06-10-2013 00:02 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found a new app that tells you which of your friends are family are racist, it is called facebook.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 00:32 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up. ~Bob Lemon
←Rate | 10-18-2015 23:09 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:12 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by puking tequila and gorditas on the side of a Taco Bell. i
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:25 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:26 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It started off badly but by the end I really liked it.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 03:56 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did anyone ever tell those kids how to get to sesame street?
←Rate | 12-30-2011 01:50 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon People ask me why I don’t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed and that is pretty close.
←Rate | 04-18-2017 22:52 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s May 4 soon, the one day of the year when Star Wars fans celebrate being able to use quite possibly the best pun in the world: “May the Fourth be with you”.
←Rate | 05-01-2017 17:01 by Zinc Comments (2)  


   messageicon Whenever anyone mentions something about a vicious cycle, I imagine an evil bike that can't stop killing.
←Rate | 04-03-2013 01:38 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, "Hey, at least I'm not pregnant." And I know happy days are around the corner. --daniel tosh
←Rate | 04-03-2013 01:48 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Say no to drugs. Although, if you're talking to drugs, it may be too late.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 03:58 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've survived enough awkward high-fives to know they're not worth the risk
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:02 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan. Someone's going to be wrong.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:09 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You want proof that baseball players are smarter than football players? How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?" ~Jim Bouton
←Rate | 10-18-2015 23:14 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Khakis: What you need to start a car in Boston.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:39 by Zinc Comments (0)  




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