StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon On the bright side, selfie sticks are also lightning rods.
←Rate | 06-18-2015 22:47 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sleeping in could easily be my superpower. If not for my arch-nemesis, having to pee.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 12:37 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being an adult is mostly waiting to leave places you didn't want to go to in the first place.
←Rate | 11-17-2014 23:43 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If beer pong has taught me anything... it's that there's no cool way to chase a ping pong ball.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 13:10 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 23:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think its nice my vacuum cleaner has head lights....just in case I wanna wake up in the middle of the night and clean in the dark, or wake up my dog making him think he's getting hit by a train.
←Rate | 11-25-2012 19:16 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Huge tits.
←Rate | 05-20-2013 00:50 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spoiler alert: Your '97 Nissan Sentra doesn't need one.
←Rate | 08-08-2014 16:29 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 13:59 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon 11 year old kids making Facebook accounts. What the hell are you gonna post about? 'Just got the new 64 Crayola pack......with the sharpener!'
←Rate | 06-05-2013 16:59 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car doesn't have a passenger airbag but don't worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you
←Rate | 06-16-2014 12:43 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not opposed to manscaping, but I don't see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
←Rate | 10-16-2014 19:33 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon Febreeze should make underwear.
←Rate | 10-18-2012 20:44 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's getting harder and harder to tell Dog the Bounty Hunter and his wife apart.
←Rate | 10-27-2014 12:00 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The condoms need to be located in the fu*king baby aisle Next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
←Rate | 11-06-2014 21:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am never more aware that I don't have boobs than when I'm paying for my own drink.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 10:09 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the greeter at Walmart should apologize to you when you walk in the door.
←Rate | 02-16-2013 11:31 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
←Rate | 07-15-2013 00:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate guys who are like "your dating my ex? Hope you like leftovers" like wtf, haven't you had cold pizza the next day? It's the best
←Rate | 01-10-2014 18:28 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beyonce, Rihanna and Katy Perry sent prayers to the victims of Oklahoma. I feel like an idiot now, I only sent money.
←Rate | 05-26-2013 02:40 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  



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