Markf Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon sometimes stops when walking into a store, waiting for the automatic doors to open. Then I realize they aren't automatic.
←Rate | 03-18-2010 07:38 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night my refrigerator opened my bedroom door, walked in and stood there and stared at me for a few minuntes, then left and closed the door
←Rate | 01-28-2018 21:00 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon just realized you can re-arrange the letters in Federal Stimulus to spell "Failed Result Sum."
←Rate | 01-31-2010 07:31 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Email your congressman and demand recognition for Precedents Day! So what if we never had one before.
←Rate | 06-12-2014 10:12 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need an alarm clock with a snooze button that sounds like a pack of snarking wolves.
←Rate | 03-21-2014 10:41 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon supports the elderly by watching the Superbowl Halftime show.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 11:36 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard the bad news that dozens of NYC ambulances are out of service due to snowdrifts piled high in the streets. The good news is there are dozens of lawyers out of service now, too.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 18:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking they need to rename 'Dancing with the Stars' to 'Dancing with the National Enquirer.'
←Rate | 09-06-2010 08:40 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard that Bruce Willis is working on the next Die Hard movie. Working titles are Die Hard: The Colonoscopy or Die Hard: Medicare with a Vengeance.
←Rate | 10-08-2010 12:59 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was late getting to the Super Bowl party and missed the first 15 seconds, but the game was already over.
←Rate | 02-03-2014 11:20 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's funny that the Carnival cruise ship passengers were complaining about having no showers and eating nothing but Spam and Pop-Tarts. Right now thousands of male computer science majors are trying to find out how to sign up for the next cruise.
←Rate | 11-12-2010 07:12 by markf Comments (3)  


   messageicon Wish my Google phone had "I'm Feeling Lucky" button when I want to be the 10th caller.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 11:23 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If David Letterman moves to Canada, does he have to change his last name?
←Rate | 02-07-2018 09:06 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon wondering if a butterflies wish they could get a tattoo of a woman on their shoulder.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 09:02 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 13:05 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's funny that Evolutionists believe enough million monkeys will eventually type out a literary work. Facebook has proven this wrong.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 19:37 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were at a Beatles tribute concert and you fell and hurt yourself, what would you yell?
←Rate | 02-19-2014 08:27 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to point out that real men don't sparkle.
←Rate | 12-06-2010 06:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon dreaming of a 'backcolor=#FFFFFF' Christmas.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 08:05 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laugh now, but one day you will be so mad when another car cuts you off and you shake your fist out the window at some robot driver
←Rate | 04-29-2018 20:33 by markf Comments (0)  




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