Joseph Robert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just found 20 dollars! I guess good things do happen to bad people!
←Rate | 12-17-2012 16:05 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'm going to call in raptured to work on monday
←Rate | 05-17-2011 13:01 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish Living Social had deals on health insurance
←Rate | 09-04-2012 15:19 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if Donald Trumps Batman?
←Rate | 12-16-2015 15:31 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The desire to roll around in mud while getting tasered and scraped by barbed wire early in the morning eludes me. It sounds like rough sex without the safe word. #NoThanks
←Rate | 06-17-2012 19:30 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying that an iPhone is the best phone because of the battery life is like saying my bicycle is the best car when it comes to fuel economy.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon carrying a Coach purse, driving a few years old Lexus and paying for your food order with your Access card! I hope you get herpes. Meanwhile I will try and get by on unemployment you f'n baby factory.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:44 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The suggested friends list usually falls into 2 categories for me anymore. Either "Who the hell is that?" or "I should of done things to her mouth when I had the chance."
←Rate | 06-26-2012 13:37 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Carroll Shelby went from Alive to Dead in less than 10 seconds
←Rate | 05-11-2012 17:06 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If ya can't beat them, kill 'em" -Tony Stewart
←Rate | 08-10-2014 11:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon apparently cyber monday takes on a COMPLETELY different meaning on some websites
←Rate | 12-02-2013 18:11 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would just like to point out on this momentous occasion today that historically, Roalty has always been a product of inbreeding
←Rate | 04-29-2011 07:52 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try to live each day like it's my last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry b/c hey, who wants to do laundry on the last day of their lives??
←Rate | 12-04-2013 09:24 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always proud of myself for being able to itch my ass with my own fart
←Rate | 10-16-2012 11:50 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people run marathons, I watch them on my couch. Indiana Jones on Syfy!!!
←Rate | 07-26-2011 14:30 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon One word: Ballgazi
←Rate | 01-22-2015 15:21 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it'd be more fun if cops pulled people over with red and green lights this time of year
←Rate | 12-17-2012 17:08 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think after the World Cup they all have orange slices and drink capri suns after the game and then their moms pick them up in their minivans? ‪#‎SoccerSucks‬
←Rate | 06-16-2014 11:36 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some thug kid stole my bike today but I didn't care cause I know I'll get him back when I download his music for free in ten years
←Rate | 10-16-2012 12:03 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow, Lil Wayne's now on Paris Hilton's new song. Those tear drop tattoos should be real tears, Weezy.
←Rate | 09-11-2013 14:43 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  



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