Jiffy Pop Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The worst part about watching The Food Network while my mother in law tries to follow their recipes during the Holidays is the sad fact that they don't deliver.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:50 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life has handed me a lot of things. Except lemons. The great mystery of life for me has not been "Why are we here?" or "What is my purpose?". Actually I'd be happy just finding out where exactly the free lemon line is.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 14:31 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon After our breakup, my ex once begged me over and over again to go out, or as my lawyer called it "Violating a Protection Order"
←Rate | 10-24-2013 07:10 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I hate going to the Mall. I've always felt like they are watching or following me. I tried to prove it , but my wife just rolls her eyes. The shocking truth is every map I've ever seen in that place says "You are Here". How do they know that?
←Rate | 11-04-2013 05:25 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tu pac's of Eminems used to cost 50 cents. Kanye believe it? Isn't that Ludacris? Wil-I-am glad they aren't as cheap now, or I'd be an even bigger Puff Daddy than I already am.
←Rate | 02-17-2014 02:43 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing makes an 80 year old Grandma from St. Louis cuss like two ballplayers in a World Series Game who simply watch an easy to catch pop fly simply fall to the ground.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 21:25 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet if Karl Marx had lived long enough to see Facebook he wouldn't have called religion the opiate of the masses.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 14:39 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I think , therefore I am"- Descartes..."I post, therefore I ham"- Me
←Rate | 11-09-2013 20:49 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight I've decided to put the bourban in suburban,
←Rate | 12-15-2013 13:24 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "talking in your voicemail as if you could hear it like an answering machine" years old.
←Rate | 02-24-2014 20:07 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon A company is now selling bacon-scented deodorant. I hope Axe Body Spray doesn't come up with their own version... I'd really hate to see the women who'll mob you for THAT scent.
←Rate | 12-03-2013 22:33 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally I'm not being harassed by my family or coworkers for listening to Christmas Music. It was rough back in July.
←Rate | 12-12-2013 20:00 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon This whole pumpkin pie is not only delicious..... It also contains nearly 50% of my Thanksgiving Day requirement of pumpkin pie..
←Rate | 11-28-2013 17:00 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon INSTANT HAPPINESS: Just add bacon...or sɇx...or enough money to buy bacon and sɇx.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 22:52 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suddenly I think I know how an Oreo Double Stuff cookie feels.
←Rate | 11-29-2013 19:35 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The truth is anyone who thinks we're still having global warming should look at what is happening in Egypt and realize that they're in DE-NILE. (Sorry I couldn't resist)
←Rate | 12-14-2013 01:15 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well the news reports that a Tibetan Mastiff was purchased in China for 2 Million Dollars. Some one over there is about to eat the most expensive authentic Chinese Meal they've ever had today.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 07:32 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've started this new bacon free diet today. So if the bacon is free, I'll eat it
←Rate | 02-24-2014 20:10 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Toronto mayor Rob Ford has agreed to star in a p0rno flick. Now there's a guy who will take a crack at anything.
←Rate | 12-03-2013 22:49 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady have put their LA Mega-Mansion up for sale. Sadly, in today's economy even the Brady-Bundchen can't keep their home.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 07:37 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  



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