JAKE Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon such an unthoughtful farmer that he wants to smash his neighbor's White Mystery Eggs and slaughter their Baby Calf if he can't get them off his News Feed.
←Rate | 02-26-2010 18:31 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does anyone really ever listen to the wedding march melody? Dumb dumb de dumb ...... Dumb dumb de dumb.
←Rate | 08-31-2017 01:59 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon How can fish get high? With seaweed.
←Rate | 01-30-2018 04:12 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon At Halloween never go to a dog park dressed as a fire hydrant.
←Rate | 09-20-2017 17:20 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon committed to TWAT. (The War Against Terrorism)
←Rate | 01-28-2010 13:31 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon In California, ever day is now 420
←Rate | 01-04-2018 06:25 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are 2 types of people on Facebook: those who have a way with words, and the others, who, don't... not... have... way.
←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:21 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Feeling down? Just play your wedding tape backwards and you'll feel better.
←Rate | 08-31-2017 17:32 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do you know why it's mandatory for female paratroopers to wear pants ? It's to prevent them from whistling on their way down.
←Rate | 09-04-2017 13:48 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't mind going to work every day and working with a bunch of a**holes. I'm a proctologist.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 20:45 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women have better minds then men because the keep changing their minds.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:49 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon A gambling addiction can cost you your marriage or win you a divorce
←Rate | 01-20-2018 00:19 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon The smog is so bad in my city that in the mornig the birds wake me by coughing in stead chirping.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 22:31 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have a real life autocorrect, my wife. :-)
←Rate | 02-22-2018 02:28 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Went to walmart and ask the woman's department attendant if they had maternity dresses. She said yes, what bust? I said the condom.
←Rate | 02-22-2018 23:14 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?
←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:22 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 20:42 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.
←Rate | 01-13-2010 19:25 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your wife tells you that your right. Is that sarcasm?
←Rate | 10-23-2017 19:51 by Jake Comments (2)  

   messageicon For Halloween I'm going to wear a t-shrit with the word life on it and hand out lemons.
←Rate | 10-09-2017 22:59 by Jake Comments (0)  

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