Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   yo mama's so old she has an autographed copy of The Holly Bible.

   I met a girl the other day. She said it's a must for her mate to be into the arts. I told her I am very much into the arts... the art of beer drinking, the art of watching football, and the art of long walks on the beach after anal.

   this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can't talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao

   Do anti- Christian bashers use the internet slang "WTF"?

   KIϟϟ+ACϟDC=greatest bands of all time

   President Obama just stepped out of the White House on this Presidents Day and seen his shadow. Looks like we're in for another year of bullshit....

   Remember, if you don't sin Jesus died for nothing

   USA lost many lives on 9-11-01 and Japan lost many lives on 3-10-11. Add the dates together and you get 12-21-12.

   Meh,,, I guess I'm not against Hillary Clinton taking a drug test?... I'm MORE concerned about the GOP taking a drug test for allowing Donald Trump to be the nominee.

   if a fat girl falls in the forest and nobody is there to see it ...... do the trees laugh?

   Wow. The Republican Party can't even attract a female hurricane.

   find the gay person: ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺ can't do it can you? it's cause their humans too.. stop hating, you look pathetic

   I don't deliver to Trailer Parks. If your house is on wheels, you must have done something wrong. - SANTA CLAUS

   The 5th of May. It's the only day Californians don't wake up to the sound of leaf blowers. 23 hours ago Comment Like

   Feel bad for blind people. I mean, seriously, how do you know when to stop wiping?

   Tump haters are haters of all true Americans. Elitist, cosmopolitan, pompous jerks. Get a job and get a life.

   Hillary correctly predicted the rise of white supremacy under Donald Trump. Just saying....

   Kid: How come dinosaurs are extinct? Me: Because Noah put two gay dinosaurs on his ark.

   If women ruled the world there would be no wars.Just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.

   Fighting on the internet is like the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded.