Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon FaceBook account for sale....Friends included!
←Rate | 05-09-2011 00:42 by punkie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”
←Rate | 05-09-2011 00:05 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two plus two is five given very large quantities of two.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:58 by TZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon it "Pets Mart"? Or is it "Pet Smart"?
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Born Free and Taxed to death!
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your going to ask a girl out, make sure you know you'll treat her right. I see some guys treat their Girls like garbage. It's a disgrace. Have some respect!
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 22:56 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 22:54 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 22:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon NO , people should stop arguing about ps3 and. Xbox 360 , because we all know the BEST system is, was and always will be the Atari 2600.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 22:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?
←Rate | 05-08-2011 22:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor is either having sex or been building up to sneeze for the last 10 minutes.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 20:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On Fathers day, we thank our dads for our moms. On Mothers day, we thank our mama for not swallowing us.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 20:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a mom or wife that is an awesome mother don't post it here....get ur lazy ass up and go tell her in person!!
←Rate | 05-08-2011 20:22 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Jason Aldean. If I wanted to listen to rap I would have turned another station besides Country. Pull your pants so I can't see your underwear and let it go.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 19:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother's Day, the celebration after those three little words..."I am late."
←Rate | 05-08-2011 18:43 by Mike D Comments (0)  


   messageicon People should stop arguing about ps3 and. Xbox. We all know the best system is was and always will be the nintendo 64!
←Rate | 05-08-2011 18:04 by Jackbrass Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the look of sad laker fans! D-rose is the new league superstar, go sit down Kobe!
←Rate | 05-08-2011 17:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 47% of Detroit residents cannot read. No kidding, they would have read the signs welcoming them to Detroit and leave.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 17:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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