Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4875 of 6369
"Don't let something that doesn't matter cost you something that does"
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05-17-2011 10:16
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Looks like former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has been playing a little game of "Hide the Vienna Sausage".
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05-17-2011 10:03
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If you dream big and never give up, you can accomplish anything. Except licking your elbow, give up on that...
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05-17-2011 09:54
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So, from the Terminator to the Governator to the Sperminator?!?
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05-17-2011 09:44
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You'd think that after all these years of practice I'd be good at waking up by now.
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05-17-2011 09:35 by J. BIAZA
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Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic. That's like Betty White going out and getting her breasts done
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05-17-2011 09:34
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With that big gap between your 2 front teeth , I don't know wether to smile at you or to kick a goal.......
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05-17-2011 08:27 by Imi
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I may not have fulfilled my dream of becoming a rock star just yet, but I will definitely make up for it one day by destroying a couple of keyboard while singing before I leave the office.
The single hand that wipes your tears during your failures, is better than the hands that clap for your successes...
69% of people; find something DIRTY in every sentence
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05-17-2011 03:43 by Mudda
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When a girl cancels a date she cancels it because she has to. When a boy cancels a date he cancels it because he has two
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05-17-2011 03:42 by Mudda
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That unnecessary music they play in scary movies that is scarier than the actual movie
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05-17-2011 03:42 by Mudda
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Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
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05-17-2011 01:39 by Bridget
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It's sad to see that two close people don't recognize each other anymore. Not because they grew up but because they grew apart.
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05-17-2011 01:33 by Bridget
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I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
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05-17-2011 01:31 by Bridget
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A stranger stabs you in the front. A boyfriend stabs you in the heart. An enemy stabs you in the back but real friends don't carry knives.
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05-17-2011 01:28 by Bridget
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"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
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05-17-2011 01:26
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I blame Survivor for my inability to put out a tiki torch without saying, "the tribe has spoken."
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05-17-2011 00:13 by jdpower
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Roses are red, violets are blue... I have a gun so get in the van.
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05-16-2011 23:53
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Not looking forward to the end of the world sat..should be on a monday..