Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4843 of 6369
May the Kool-Aid be strong with you.
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01-01-2019 23:31
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A good husband remembers his wife's birthday, but not her age.
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01-03-2019 02:56 by Joker
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Euthanasia is OK, but most people can live without it.
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01-11-2019 08:39
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There’s good sex, then there’s no-hole-left-untouched sex.
Disgusting! The Toronto Raptors are in the NBA finals. This is all Obama's fault!
I'm happy to say that my life is now plastic free! except for a few Tupperware containers and my Facebook account.
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07-21-2019 16:33
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So why did poor Sally sell seashells on the seashore when anyone could just walk along the beach and pick them up for free?
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08-28-2019 16:23
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I take spiders outside in stead of killing them because it's not their fault that I'm scared of them. I do however, scream while doing so.
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12-20-2019 09:19
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Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.
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12-17-2019 14:12
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If anybody knows any lonely old people preparing to eat Christmas dinner alone? Please let me know as I need to borrow some chairs!
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12-07-2019 07:20 by Truman
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Once again those were not booes. They were alternative cheers.
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11-02-2019 23:38
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I don't understand why tan suits enrages people. Maybe, I'm too sane to understand it.
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01-02-2020 14:31
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The Go-Go's are bringing a vegetable to tonight's dinner party. They said, "We got the beet."
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01-23-2020 06:07
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Can't decide between joining the US military, or opening a musical instrument store. I'm stuck between Iraq and a harp place.
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01-23-2020 06:09
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I was at the park flying my kite and this guy came up to me and said "You flying a kite?" I replied "Nah I'm fishing for birds"
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02-22-2020 10:09
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Since soap kills COVID 19, have you guys tried just eating Tide Pods again?
Roman Catholic dietary law classified aquatic mammals as fish rather than meat. therefore, you are free to eat beaver on Good Friday.
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04-08-2020 11:28
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Why did Wisconsin Supreme Court change to the Dems? I think I'm going to kill myself.
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04-14-2020 22:49
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If you drive by my house and see a bunch of kids scooping dog poop, mind your business. They're on a field trip
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05-03-2020 18:53
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2017 is turning out to be one huge waste of time.
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09-05-2017 13:48
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