Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4809 of 6367
FaceBook was shut down for 10min today.I could only imagine the baby boom to come in 9 months from now...
woke up with post-it note where one of his toes should have been. It said "Gone to market"....
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11-14-2009 09:04 by deithy
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s standing at the entrance of weight watchers eating A bucket of kfc, ha ha, how cruel am I :-)
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01-29-2010 06:19
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Oooo God, Facebook was down for about 30 mins or so, I'm predicting a baby-boom in about 8 months... =)
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10-22-2010 15:02 by Logan.T
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Here's one for the women.......................... It's a 5-speed vibrator kind of day.
Tsunami works like this: If you don't go to beach, beach goes to you.
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06-02-2011 22:10
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no matter what happens in England my queen will always be Latifah
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06-13-2011 11:43
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a p°nis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an a55hole, his bestfriend is a pu55y and his owner beats him!
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02-02-2012 17:29
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You know who I can't stand? Flo from Progressive and Jared from Subway. I wish they'd hook up, then drive off a cliff while choking on a five dollar footlong.
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12-09-2011 19:43 by MTQ
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I once swallowed a book of synonyms. It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
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02-22-2021 09:17
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I need a toothpick to remove this prius that is stuck on the grill of my hummer
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10-13-2013 10:39
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Porsche for sale C?HEAP! Needs some work.
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12-01-2013 07:20
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Attacking the rich is not envy, it is self defence. The hoarding of wealth is the cause of poverty. The rich aren't just indifferent to poverty: they create it and maintain it. This is America in 2016.
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02-14-2016 03:05
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We can put a man on the moon but we can't put a cat in the dishwasher
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09-30-2014 13:28 by Psycho
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Just heard the Octo mom called Casey Anthony asking her how to spell chloroform
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07-05-2011 18:38
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Michael Jackson gets to go to heaven because he was doing things the priest were doing.
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09-19-2010 02:10 by Zack
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Jesus is coming, Quick, look busy
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05-05-2010 20:39 by one
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Same Great Taste 40% Fewer Calories, 30% Less Fat.
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03-27-2009 12:45
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I need a beer! I need another beer. I think I'll have another one. Iguetss jusst on moer. I'lll hav jush one morrrre. Blaaaahhhh.
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that's my Dad for ya.