Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4755 of 6367
A memory of grade school math just popped into my head. The images I associated with the alligator eating the larger numbers still haunt me!
Married Men are always wrong, period. Or no period. ;)
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04-12-2013 13:29 by @S4W4N
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It's amazing how students become so serious and focused during final exams week
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05-02-2013 15:09
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I like to think of items outside the grocery store as the "Steal it. We don't give a crap anymore" section.
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05-02-2013 16:32 by SEAN
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My daily pep talk pretty much consists of: It's ok, It's ok, it'll be funny in a few weeks...
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05-10-2013 22:00
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Hello Miss I shave my eyebrows off and draw them back on about an inch to high !!!! Yeah that looks good if your going for the shocked look!!!!
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05-21-2013 18:12
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Ladies, “how was your day?” is a rhetorical question. You don’t really have to answer it.
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05-24-2013 07:28
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There's nothing that screams "originality' like a bar named Cheers.
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05-31-2013 14:27 by Mickey
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A vegetarian that is for the death peanilty.....................wait what?
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06-08-2013 13:13
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Hopefully the guy on the Skywire doesn't have to sneeze anytime soon.. Looks Dusty
Relationships are like cul-de-sacs once you get deep in you have to make a U-Turn
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06-24-2010 16:42 by KD
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like a bra, she gives me support and is close to my heart
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07-04-2010 22:03 by sophie
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Wanna have some fun? Ask a really stoned person to say the word indubitably.
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07-30-2010 14:47
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All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
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07-31-2010 09:19
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I can't hear you over the sound of how EPIC I am.
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08-01-2010 23:12
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Thinks the invention of the credit/debit card, homeless people must be pissed.. do you take visa does not sound as good as a couple quarters bouncin in a cup!
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08-10-2010 22:31
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In the rest of World When The boy meets the father its a Nice warm Welcome. In the south, The dad comes out with a gun and says boy you better treat my daughter right.(:
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08-12-2010 22:13 by BEGO
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sin's so skilfully that it puts god in a dilemma whether to punish or not...
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08-18-2010 04:36 by Johnny B
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"always on your mind" and if I wasn't before I am now.
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08-22-2010 19:09 by JessLayne
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heard the new Cubs regime was going to return the Team to thier Glory days...How can anyone possibly know what that was like???
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08-25-2010 22:26
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