Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4734 of 6369
What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a BJ.
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03-30-2011 13:14 by BOO
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did you hear about that kid napping? yeah the poor kid just woke up..
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10-10-2009 13:47
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the best times to have a breakup...christmas, valentines and her birthday
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01-22-2010 19:04
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2020 is a jerk! It only wants to make our leader look bad.
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08-31-2020 13:00
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to the one asking us to learn the effing language, we are bilingual, how about you? jealous perhaps?? :D
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11-21-2014 22:45
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We live in America where a girl threw flour on Kim Kardashian and was arrested on site. But the man who killed Trayvon Martin is still free.
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03-26-2012 17:40 by WS
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What goes "mhau namih uh bah booh"? A deaf woman when your standing on her foot apparently.
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04-25-2012 17:19 by SKoop
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was in Wal-mart today. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did.
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11-05-2009 19:36
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What kind of president would Donald Trump be? A combination of George Bush, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Bernie Madoff.
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04-28-2011 15:40 by DooDoo
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never understood people watching a football game wearing their team jersey. Thats like me watching CSI dressed as a dead hooker.
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09-08-2011 21:36
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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was fried and eaten on MLK day.
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01-20-2015 19:55 by Jbaby
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If Glenn Beck runs for President, I want to see a birth certificate proving he was born on this planet.
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08-29-2010 18:41
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Obamacare: Just another government handout; this time forcing the funding by tax payers through the threat of penalties for non-compliance.
being chased by a hungry pack of wild poodles!
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03-03-2009 19:12
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Sometimes people act like the US isn't the only country in the whole world.
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06-25-2010 18:26 by Joser
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I'm HUGE in Japan...
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03-28-2012 00:35 by Scurry
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Just on the news... boni blue world surfing championships in Australia has just been won by an unknown Japanese man on a fridge!!
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03-16-2011 03:26 by marlise**
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Me to husband: To be clear, when I say “let’s get it on”, I’m talking about the two-person horse costume we got for Halloween.
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09-28-2021 11:24
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I'm boycotting the next Nobel Prize award ceremony. Trump so deserved the award, but didn't win.
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10-09-2020 08:49
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I wish I could help run a country into the ground and still take a $100,000 trip for my birthday... btw, your welcomed Obama for your birthday trip.
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08-04-2011 08:47
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