Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4568 of 6369
Can’t figure out if every piano ends up being free or if it’s just the same piano that everyone passes around for free on Facebook Marketplace... 😐
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11-26-2020 08:22 by ScottyGay
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Have you noticed how much tires cost these days? Is that because of inflation or what?
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12-12-2020 12:34
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Forget the past for you cannot change it. Forget the future for you cannot predict it. And while you're at it forget the present because I didn't get you one this year.
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12-23-2020 13:13
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Since the beginning of the corvid the closest thing to a vacation I've been taking is by logging out of my unpaid job at facebook.
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01-03-2021 07:33
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Facebook: Where content takes a back seat to cleavage.
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01-05-2021 08:10 by Fazzy
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Just because you had an arugment doesn't mean you are fighting. Frickin' dramatic people!
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03-06-2012 13:20
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Doing the Chipotle cleanse.
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03-22-2012 23:09
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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04-03-2012 17:19
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There's only three things I wanna win at 1) Life 2) beer Pong 3) Video Games
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04-08-2012 04:40
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If you are in very psychological relationship... Make sure (s)he's psycho and you're logical
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04-10-2012 06:58 by XX-FOXY
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Ask your doctor before taking alcohol 7 nights a week if you're pregnant, nursing, or want to have any liver left in 20 years.
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06-11-2012 20:37
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Mud, Dirt, Poop, Grease and crude oil baby! Okay, I'm done talking dirty... let's have sex....
It is better to have loathed and lost, than never to have loathed at all.
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06-19-2012 07:35
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Living with someone means sex on demand. Is the myth.
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06-24-2012 15:01
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Help me find the exit! I'm trying to escape from reality!
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06-24-2012 21:51 by Kathleen
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Woke up in the middle of my sleep.Only thing that's keeping my neighbor's barking dog alive now is that I'm still sleepy.
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07-01-2012 00:04
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Note to all guys out there...when your GF ask's you "do these pants make me look fat?". Pretty sure there isn't a right answer to this and you can definately cross off "I don't think we should blame the pants"!
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07-01-2012 20:13
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Sometimes you just need your space, so you can figure out how you fit into someone else's.
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07-01-2012 22:56 by BEGO
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If you message me to the point where I have to scroll to read it all, well, you need to hire a text editor.
Why can't the world come to Peace rather than Pieces?
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02-11-2012 19:30 by CindyAnn
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