Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon in financial ruins.. well, i'm off to the mall to buy things that I don't need to make me feel better about my debt. :
←Rate | 10-07-2010 20:34 by Rayy Comments (0)  


   messageicon i dont know why but you must confuse me with someone who cares...
←Rate | 10-10-2010 21:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
←Rate | 10-13-2010 14:36 by Tarwadi Comments (1)  


   messageicon Perseverance is not a passive submission to circumstances , it's not passive endurance -it's a strong and actve response to difficult events of life...it's the quality on standing on your feet as you face the storms..it's not simply the attitude on facing
←Rate | 10-24-2010 11:36 by Valeria Comments (1)  


   messageicon always right, never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was wrong.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 15:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study says humans are psychic, and I'm living proof of it. For example, I can clearly foresee a future where this study is debunked.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:27 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes reading FML stories because it makes my life seem Amazing!
←Rate | 05-19-2010 19:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves life; but life thinks we should see other people.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 01:10 by Peebs Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This isn't what it looks like" almost ALWAYS means "This is exactly what it looks like." Just sayin'...
←Rate | 06-12-2010 08:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon my therapist said maybe my intimidating beauty was the reason I never get asked out...so gaining weight & going bald will work??
←Rate | 12-17-2010 21:50 Comments (1)  


   messageicon So, I've been told hard work is the key to success, but I'm not above picking a lock every now and then.
←Rate | 12-30-2010 15:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon a fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it did half the time.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weather Warning for Glendale, AZ tonight: Reigning Ducks........
←Rate | 01-10-2011 10:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next person that says asks me "Think we got enough snow?" shall be given an epic whitewash.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 23:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Facebook, is it possible to cram a few more ads on my "new" profile page?
←Rate | 01-15-2011 03:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon attention is the fuel that feeds immaturity.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 12:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish comicbook disguises worked in real life. A pair of glasses would open some many possiblities for me.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 20:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I think life would be more fun with a "thumbs down" option for people like I have on Pandora for songs
←Rate | 03-09-2011 12:52 by GirlX Comments (0)  


   messageicon why use floss when I can just squirt water through my teeth?? Sometimes the little things will just have to do until I get a robot
←Rate | 03-29-2011 19:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon true facebook friends are easy to find, easy to leave.you can forget them but they wont leave you the hell alone.
←Rate | 03-30-2011 08:08 by raven Comments (0)  




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