Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon While Prince may have found his mother demanding. Maybe she just didn't want to see him wear a frilly purple suit everyday
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever coined the phrase "The Buck stops here" has obviously never ever carried my poor wallet!
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:30 by JBabcock Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl's moan is the sexiest sound, ever.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Respect your parents. They pay for your internet
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i would slap the pretty out of your face if you had any left
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Help me out... I cant decide. Should I buy flowers or a sympathy card for the b*tches dying to be like me
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if ignorance is bliss then there are a sh#t load of people in paradise
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:01 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon pandora just gave me a Hanson song and it wasn't even Mmmbop...Shamful!!!
←Rate | 08-24-2011 14:59 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon any questions asked while I am counting out scoops of coffee will be answered with louder counting
←Rate | 08-24-2011 14:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn website in ur address bar smh
←Rate | 08-24-2011 14:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is alot of good women out there, but there isn't enough good men to match their value.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 13:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when I first met her, she was all quiet, shy, innocent and reserved. But now...lets just say, I created a monster.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 13:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to buy Hannah Montana movie off Amazon com it said users who bought this also purchased hand lotion and tissues.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend asked me for another word for incorrect. Of course, my answer was wrong.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 13:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, don't go after ugly rich men. Make your own money so you can f*ck hot poor guys, like me
←Rate | 08-24-2011 12:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny!
←Rate | 08-24-2011 12:56 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Surprised someone hasn't capitalized on a workout video for these sign holders.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 12:43 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon everybody stop complaining, just imagine how many bars of soap were dropped in prisons all up the east coast
←Rate | 08-24-2011 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They have the cause of the earthquake narrowed down to either Obama's approval rating hitting the floor or the cemetery just outside of Washington DC. (You know, the one our Founding Fathers are in. They think that they all turned over in their graves.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 12:17 by bdg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fat girls think M.O.B stands for "McDonalds Or Burgerking"
←Rate | 08-24-2011 12:13 by ed status Comments (0)  




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