Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4560 of 6369
And the Oscar goes to.....Manti TE'O
←Rate |
01-16-2013 20:06
Comments (0)
Are you trying to seduce me? I can tell by the way you didn't vomit when I said hi.
←Rate |
01-17-2013 05:03
Comments (0)
Oh $hit....... I think my imaginary girlfriend has been cheating on me with some dude from Notre Dame.
←Rate |
01-17-2013 07:57 by sully
Comments (0)
I call my bong a sculpture when kids are around.
←Rate |
01-27-2013 12:21
Comments (0)
If my life was a movie, you would be here by now.
←Rate |
07-21-2012 17:41
Comments (0)
The first thing I do when I answer the phone is hang up.
←Rate |
07-31-2012 14:06 by Baddie
Comments (0)
All I wanna know is how the hell do you bring the lactose intolerant boys to the yard!?!?
←Rate |
08-03-2012 09:43
Comments (0)
Quick! When the hunky bartender gets the security guard and points at you; that means he's interested right? I think I’m going to drink for free the rest of the night...
I clicked on one of those " You've been unfriended by 3 people" messages,,,,,,,,,,, Now it burns when I post..
←Rate |
02-13-2013 11:45 by snotty
Comments (0)
Oscar Pistorius is probably kicking himself in the @$$ right about now.
←Rate |
02-15-2013 20:41
Comments (0)
so lazy today that I cant even finish a
I'd have better people skills if I worked with better people
←Rate |
02-23-2013 18:06
Comments (0)
I'm sorry... But I would kick that Waldo's ass in Hide and Go Seek!
←Rate |
02-24-2013 13:50
Comments (0)
it me, or Monday comes around and your sleepy throughout most of the workday, but after what feels like 5-hours in rushhour traffic, you have enough energy for a Party with free drinks?
←Rate |
03-04-2013 18:53 by Jitney
Comments (0)
no amount of cash is petty
←Rate |
03-06-2013 15:48 by YODA
Comments (0)
I see you drivin ’round town with a girl I love, and I’m like, it’s nice that she has alternative transportation.
←Rate |
03-08-2013 21:20 by BEGO
Comments (0)
Hey you guys! Rock bottom has a buffet and an open bar!
←Rate |
03-16-2013 06:57
Comments (0)
I think those who wear the sagging pants should start wearing skinny jeans. At least it would be entertaining watching them trying to walk.
←Rate |
03-17-2013 21:30 by K-Mac
Comments (0)
there are no winners the day following a draft beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
I'm a people person. As long as the people are hot girls...
←Rate |
03-22-2013 13:41
Comments (0)