Funny Status Messages for Facebook

X went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-18-2009 05:59 Comments (0)

X is not gaining weight, he's retaining food!

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-18-2009 23:03 Comments (0)

X is calculating the square root of tomorrow

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-18-2009 23:23 Comments (0)

X wouldnt be caught dead with a necrophiliac!

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-19-2009 16:27 Comments (0)

X is stuck in the moment and he can't get out of it...

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-19-2009 18:13 Comments (0)

X has secretly replaced the Parmesan cheese shaker with a used Pedi-Egg. Will her guests be able to tell the difference?

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-19-2009 18:35 by Gina Comments (0)

X guesses Chris Brown sure taught Rihanna how to breathe with "no air"

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-19-2009 18:38 Comments (1)

X is As I'm getting older I've noticed my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-19-2009 20:17 Comments (0)

X is Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-19-2009 22:48 Comments (0)

X is increasing his carbon footprint so that it is visible from space.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-19-2009 23:21 by Charlie C Comments (0)

X is running with scissors and playing with matches...

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-20-2009 00:32 by Icy Comments (0)

X wonders how skinny he would be if he had to pedal to keep the computer on.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-20-2009 08:33 by Dragon-King Comments (0)

X is calculating pi but can't seem to make it past sugar cream

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-20-2009 08:34 by Dragon-King Comments (0)

X is intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-20-2009 12:49 by Manny Comments (0)

X is contributing to global warming by breathing as he rides his bike to school...some conservationist!

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-20-2009 13:53 by JRazz Comments (0)

X kissed a girl, and he liked it...and blames Katy Perry for his imprisonment. She didn't say anything about asking permission.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-20-2009 14:52 by Pissed Off Comments (0)

X is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-20-2009 16:47 by Robert Bell Comments (0)

X is News update! "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-21-2009 03:18 by JonathanMC Comments (0)

X I want a new Drug. One that won't hurt my head. One that won't make my mouth too dry. Or make my eyes too red

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-21-2009 03:42 by Jenny ( Huey Lewis) Comments (0)

X is stuck in the moment - well it is actually more like wedged. I think I may need an advanced escape maneuver. So glad I have that Special Forces training to fall back on in these situations.....

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-21-2009 06:49 by MaryEllen Comments (0)