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X went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
X is not gaining weight, he's retaining food!
X is calculating the square root of tomorrow
X wouldnt be caught dead with a necrophiliac!
X is stuck in the moment and he can't get out of it...
X has secretly replaced the Parmesan cheese shaker with a used Pedi-Egg. Will her guests be able to tell the difference?
X guesses Chris Brown sure taught Rihanna how to breathe with "no air"
X is As I'm getting older I've noticed my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used
X is Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.
X is increasing his carbon footprint so that it is visible from space.
X is running with scissors and playing with matches...
X wonders how skinny he would be if he had to pedal to keep the computer on.
X is calculating pi but can't seem to make it past sugar cream
X is intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
X is contributing to global warming by breathing as he rides his bike to school...some conservationist!
X kissed a girl, and he liked it...and blames Katy Perry for his imprisonment. She didn't say anything about asking permission.
X is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect
X is News update! "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery!"
X I want a new Drug. One that won't hurt my head. One that won't make my mouth too dry. Or make my eyes too red
X is stuck in the moment - well it is actually more like wedged. I think I may need an advanced escape maneuver. So glad I have that Special Forces training to fall back on in these situations.....