Psycho Funny Status Messages

   My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat

   Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop.

   I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.

   I bet if I flashed my hand grenade this guy would let me merge

   Nice try, but you're not getting rid of me that easily.

   Of course you can use bacon grease as furniture polish. *licks coffee table*