Jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?
←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:22 by jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.
←Rate | 01-13-2010 19:25 by jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Halloween I'm going to wear a t-shrit with the word life on it and hand out lemons.
←Rate | 10-09-2017 22:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can not use the 5 second rule when you drop a hotdog on the floor if you have a 3 second dog.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 18:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't drink and drive, you could spill the beer in your car.
←Rate | 04-20-2009 10:41 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon During my vacation, I learned alot about my self. The main thing I learned was, not to take another vacation.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 21:36 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it when I misplace my cell phone it set on silent
←Rate | 11-09-2017 21:39 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 07:34 by jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a wife's deadbeat husband died. She had him cremated and his ashes placed in a 24 hour, hour-glass. He's now working 24/7 for eternity.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 02:28 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the people I come in contact with daily could read my mind I'd get punch in the face alot.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 23:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is so fat, she eats a snack between snacks.
←Rate | 10-16-2017 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is so fat, that she only needs a cup of water in the tub to take a bath.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 19:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there are three ducks on a pond and you shoot one how many would be left on the pond? None. The other two would fly away after hearing the gun shot.
←Rate | 10-14-2017 22:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Silence is golden. Unless you have a house full of young kids.
←Rate | 10-05-2017 14:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last Halloween night while at a bus stop. I saw a priest, a nun and a prostitute pass buy. Still don't know if they were wearing a costume for Halloween or not.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 23:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon says "If Heat Rises, Surely Heaven is Hotter Than Hell"
←Rate | 10-18-2009 12:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is only a small box, but weighs over 250 pounds? A scale
←Rate | 09-12-2017 09:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon when the river runs red, take the dirt road...
←Rate | 01-07-2010 07:52 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon New breakfast cereal called Prosatooties. They don't snap crackle or pop. They just in the bowl and smile at you.
←Rate | 09-17-2017 00:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that laughter is the best medicine. But if you're laughing for no reason, you need medicien.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 16:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


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