nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   ..... Personally, I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make a lot more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.

   High School In 5 Words: Wore helmet. Didn't play football.

   I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.

   Tim Tebow speaking at the Republican National Convention guarantees the Republicans have no shot at winning the Superbowl next year.

   Half the world is in a race war and the other half is running around catching Pokemon with their phones, and I'm just sitting here on my couch waiting for football season.

   The day a black NFL player gets shot by a cop, ruining Paul Ryan's fantasy football team, will be the day the GOP addresses police brutality.

   I now hold it in my hands. Finally. The expressed written consent of the National Football League.

   Reasons Why Guys Stop Texting Girls: 1) He's Busy. 2) You didn't send nudes. 3) He has beer and football. 4) It's only been a day, calm down psycho.

   I have a great idea for improving Coldplay concerts. Stop the show halfway through and feature a 15 minute football game.

   I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.

   Superbowl Party Eating Tip: Your pants won't get too tight if you don't wear any.

   Superbowl: Rock Out With Your Guac Out!!!

   All these smiling Alabama football fans you would think Today is Toothless people appreciation day in Alabama

   The refs in the NFL are throwing a ridiculous amount of flags these days. Pro football is now metaphorically considerd "flag football."

   Commercials: Now brought to you with limited football interruption.

   If only fans of celebrities, football, rock concerts etc would get as excited about racism, injustice, poverty, illegal wårs..man would be live in a better place

   Out on the highway, getting passed by a Prius is the football equivalent of getting tackled by the kicker.

   Tonight's Jets/Bills football uniforms resemble my Starbucks cup.

   Son: Dad, what's a hypocrite?.... Me: It's when an idiot wants to change the name of a football team while putting Aunt Jemima syrup on waffles.

   "You want proof that baseball players are smarter than football players? How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?" ~Jim Bouton