urboyblue Funny Status Messages

   It is impossible to unscrew a blown light bulb and not shake it to make sure you hear little pieces bouncing around!! I've tried, I can't!!

   Tell me how a 74 year old man has an opportunity to fly a plane in the crowd at an air show in Reno Nevada when the Dr's took away my grandfather's license away just for falling asleep several times at the wheel on I-81??

   Why do you ladies feel it necessary to manipulate a man to get what you want?? Well, lol...we buy you a drink cuz we think your thirsty!!

   OK, I go upstairs to the bathroom and walk by and my wife is watching Forensic Files....20 minutes later she comes down to the man cave and asks if we should get life insurance on each other!! Made me nervous

   OK ladies....College football starts tonight!! You may now start to cheat, shop or whatever.....Just shut up and stay out of the Man Cave!!

   Why is it when women are on their "that time of month" do they have to feel like they have to fly around the room on a broom and beat you with it??

   Use this form for submissions only. Viola"No more Foreign Aid until every American is fed, clothed and has a home" I would vote for any man or woman that promised that...wouldn't care what color, religion or who he/she slept with....PERIOD!!

   I can hear all the dogs in my neighborhood laughing their a$$es off at Michael Vick's performance tonight!! One year wonder??

   Wanna make your girl scream when ya have sex fella's?? Call her and tell her where ur at!!

   If you unfriend me or block me on Facebook, that means you would probably just turn your nose up in real life...you're actually doing me a favor!!

   MTV is 30 today!! Nina Blackwood, Mark Goodman, Alan Hunter, Martha Quinn and J.J. Jackson....you're hard work was for nothing guys "Reality Show Killed The Video Star"!!

   Alright ladies that b!tch and moan about men all the time....Either find a girlfriend or STFU and join in the game!! You're either with us or against us!!

   If I could find a deaf, mute hot blonde....I would give her the world!!

   I honestly believe Nancy Grace thinks she can bring Caylee back to life....that or is SHE the one making money off of a lil girl's death?? Think about it!

   NASCAR in KENTUCKY!! WOOOHOOOO!! Where there will be more fans than teeth and you will hear this: "Please remove your mulllets for the singing of the National Anthem"

   Quick...I am a nervous wreck, hand me a brush and let me paint a Bob Ross Happy Tree!!

   Justin Beiber on the CMT's is like Rosa Parks at a Klan rally!!

   NO....Anthony Weiner did not tweet a pic of his weiner....he forward one of Clinton's from Monica's view!!

   Marriage tip #392: Don't ever, ever start an argument with your wife with "Your f**kin' mother"......

   Why can you buy movies at Walmart with nude scenes in them and can't by a CD with cussin??