Dylan Bosch Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm a little tea pot, short and stout... Consequently, my brother the beer keg gets all the chicks."
←Rate | 05-11-2011 20:23 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not that I'm complaining, but I think the sales lady at the furniture store misunderstood when I told her I wanted one nightstand."
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:34 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inside me there is a thin, blonde, glamourous woman. But that's just because I lost a bet at a sorority party and had to eat a barbie doll."
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:33 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not understand how a phone that starts your car can be a selling point. If someone steals your phone, they not only have your car, but more than likely your facebook, which let's face it, is scarier than losing a car.
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, I'm not "done sleeping." In fact, I will never be done sleeping, I'm merely taking a break in order to earn money so that I may keep my bed in its current, climate-controlled location.
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:29 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any story you tell about something you did the night before, that starts with the word "Apparently," is probably awesome."
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Misunderstanding one word can make all the difference - like the time my girlfriend said that she'd like me to splurge on her occasionally."
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Osama really did believe that he was getting all those virgin's after death,.. umm.. then why the f*ck was he hiding for ten years?"
←Rate | 05-02-2011 11:33 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon justin bieber is still alive :(
←Rate | 05-01-2011 23:15 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water... it's obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola."
←Rate | 04-21-2011 20:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is an "A" and "B" conversation, so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"'s you up like a "G" :)
←Rate | 04-17-2011 00:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is one holiday where our full-blown alcoholism could possibly go undetected.. Happy St. Patty's Day!!"
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be so serious. If you can't laugh at yourself, call me...I'll laugh at you."
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:03 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon had lucky charms for breakfest. I take this day very seriously."
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:01 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon so the technology exists allowing us to watch TV and movies in 3-D or HD, but when it comes to security camera footage it still looks like it's being shot with the camera from Blair Witch Project."
←Rate | 03-15-2011 17:40 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pluto was rejected from the planet category because of its crooked orbit; even our solar system kicks the stumbling drunk guy out of the party."
←Rate | 03-11-2011 18:44 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon do you think that butterflies get tattoo's of women's butts?"
←Rate | 03-05-2011 11:05 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you didn't hear it with your OWN ears or see it with your OWN eyes, don't go passing it on with your OWN mouth!"
←Rate | 03-05-2011 10:52 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon PMS: stands for either "Pass My Shotgun" or "Potential Murder Suspect". Take your pick.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 10:50 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks I've found the cure for stupidity... a shock collar. And if it doesn't cure them, at least you got a good laugh watching them twitch."
←Rate | 03-05-2011 10:45 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  




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