hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've never understood the big deal some people make when they clean house and say "you can eat off the floor"...on any given day, there's enough food on my floor to feed a small family...
←Rate | 02-05-2013 19:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 19:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 19:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Facebook have a "You're not smart enough to be talking about politics" button?
←Rate | 01-30-2013 05:15 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I know about you has earned my attention. What I don't know about you is what makes you interesting.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 03:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your bedazzled iphone lets me know the music in it sucks.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 03:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have 4 missed calls from my mom. A rescue team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting in my underwear on my couch eating cheetos any minute now.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 03:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's it called when you can't commit to a girl for more than a month but you've been using the same brand toothpaste for 15 years?
←Rate | 01-30-2013 03:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My level of lazy is that I don't think house arrest would be that bad.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 03:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (1)  


   messageicon Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since I'm so good at failing to fullfill my resolutions, this year my resolutions are to be unhealthy, avoid the gym, pay my bills late and have more sex with ugly girls.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:47 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Started off 2013 right by hitting the gym bright and early, mainly because they wouldn't cancel my membership over the phone.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:47 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've counted 8 people so far whose New Year's resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:46 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best stories ever told always end with the words"...and then I got the hell out of there."
←Rate | 12-09-2012 08:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone ever moans about you leaving a pile clothes on the floor, just tell them it's a dead Jedi.
←Rate | 12-09-2012 08:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just played the board game Clue, The "Who killed music" version. Well turns out it was Nicki Minaj, in the studio, with a microphone.
←Rate | 12-09-2012 08:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey teenage girls, Santa saw your facebook. Now you're only getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-08-2012 18:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my darker moments I despair over the injustices I will never be able to stop. Greed. Hunger. Plague. Here Comes Honey-boo-boo
←Rate | 12-08-2012 18:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every Taylor Swift song sounds like a long drawn out Facebook status
←Rate | 12-08-2012 18:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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