Moon Funny Status Messages

   My doctor says I need to cut back on my gluten. Over my bread body!

   I'm so old I just sit around and look at Facebook all day.... like younger people do nowadays.

   Love how I can remember the lyrics to just about any song written in the 70s but can't remember where I laid my car keys down last night?

   To end the coin storage let us all join together as a nation and dig into our couch cushions where we all should be sitting to help end the Coronavirus.

   I deactivated my automatic spell checker on Facebook. Who I really didn't know in real life anyways.

   My Alexis doesn't always answer me when I ask you a question, and now I know why it talks like a woman.

   Dear Facebook, Please stop showing me ads for dating websites as I don't think hooking up with a complete stranger hoping to mingle in the middle of a pandemic would be a stellar idea. Thanks!

   Her: What sign are you most compatible with? Me: Krispy Kreme's hot and ready sign.

   Maybe we should all start calling 2020 are lucky number and see if things might change!

   I know how can cure the Coronavirus. Stop socializing! And you could give me the Nobel Peace Prize later thank you.

   The proverbial saying 'Rome wasn't built in a day' suggests that a complex task or great achievement that shouldn't be rushed and is a great excuse for procrastinating.

   I'm so old when I was a kid the only kind of positive post we knew was on a car battery.

   For some reason I have a feeling that I might have told you this joke about Deju Vu before.

   Everytime I see someone not wearing a mask in public that alternative Queen song that goes No mask on your face you big disgrace spreading your germs all over the place pops into my head.

   I see NASA is planning a mission to find water on the moon and maybe I'll go someday if they find enough to make a decent cup of coffee with.

   Do to the Coronavirus I have some concert tickets for sale, cheap! concert not included.

   I've come to the conclusion that my Alexa is just another pet by how often I have to tell her no every day.

   Love when I take the time to type out a long text message to a friend and they reply with "K"

   Looking at people posts I think facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “What’s your problem today!?”

   There is no pain you are receding. Britney Spears,