Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope you don't multiply!
←Rate | 10-06-2011 05:36 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My optic nerve crossed with my a$$hole, and gave me a sh*tty outlook on life.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 13:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look. If there's a chick wearing a dog collar in her profile pic, she's got a friend request coming from me. Period.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 08:26 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What's DNA stand for? A. National Dyslexics Association
←Rate | 10-04-2011 08:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baseball World Records: Most Home Runs: Barry Bonds RBI's: Hank Aaron Career Batting Streak: Joe DiMaggio Most Innings Pitched: Cy Young Hit In The Face With The Most Balls: Justin Bieber
←Rate | 10-03-2011 22:36 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
←Rate | 10-03-2011 16:59 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my life I've blamed myself for having a weight problem. Turns out it was my mom's fault. It's not that she prepared fattening dishes, or made me eat a lot. It's just that instead of having an egg in her uterus, she had bacon.
←Rate | 10-02-2011 10:45 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 08:27 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you say "virgin" in Dutch? Goodentight.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 08:06 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always wanted to be a comic. Not a stand up act...an actual comic. I wanna slap a blob of Silly Putty on myself and make a copy of me.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 16:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What has 50 legs and smells like urine? The Conga line at the nursing home's "Annual Harvest Moon Dance".
←Rate | 09-29-2011 20:56 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to certain people. The best part of them is the part that ran down their daddy's leg.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 20:04 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay. You have the perfect marriage. Fine. Your grandkids are the greatest ever. Fine. You have a nice car and boat. Fine. Stick em all up your a$$. Fine.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 19:54 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
←Rate | 09-29-2011 10:48 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 05:48 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear God, Please send some nice clothes for that poor lady in Daddy's computer who hasn't got any. Love, Paul XXX
←Rate | 09-28-2011 21:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an angel. Honest. The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 09:09 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is more money being spent on breast implants and Vi*gra today than on Alzheimer's research. By 2040, there should be a lot of old people with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 06:23 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dad, when can I use the car?" "When you cut that long hair." Why? Jesus had long hair." "Yeah, and he walked everywhere too!"
←Rate | 09-27-2011 15:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's the most popular guy at the nudist camp? The one carrying two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:14 by Mick F Comments (0)  




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