Jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Although I'm bald, I still can't part with my combs.
←Rate | 04-30-2018 23:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. But smoking bacon will cure it.
←Rate | 04-30-2018 17:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The evening news begins with good evening. Then they proceed to tell you why it not.
←Rate | 04-28-2018 21:31 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon They say crime doesn't pay. So does that mean my job is a crime?
←Rate | 04-28-2018 21:18 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I thought earwigs were bugs that came out of your ears. So you can imagine what I thought when I heard about co*kroaches
←Rate | 04-26-2018 23:38 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon My wife is losing it, she told me she was seeing someone behind my back. But when I turn around there wasn't anyone there.
←Rate | 04-26-2018 14:15 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to confuse a fat nymophomaniac. Give her a cholate dildo.
←Rate | 04-26-2018 14:06 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having one child makes you a parent. Having two a referee
←Rate | 04-25-2018 16:18 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Another woman cause me to leave my wife. It was her mother.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 19:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife says I only have two faults. #1. I don't pay enough attention to her. #2. And something else.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 19:04 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the toothbrush was invented in England. If it was invented anywhere else it would be called the teethbrush.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 18:59 by Jake Comments (7)  


   messageicon My wife's cooking is so bad, we pray after the meal.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 18:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Viagra is like Disney land, the both make you wait a hour for a three minute ride.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 05:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do woman and police cars have in common? The both make a lot of noise when they are coming.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 05:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Silence is your best responce when talking to an idiot
←Rate | 04-23-2018 03:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never hire an elecetrician with fuzzy hair
←Rate | 04-19-2018 15:22 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most all the women I meet in bars think I have a nice butt. Because as I walk away from them after talking to them. I hear them say "what an ass."
←Rate | 04-18-2018 23:09 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there braille dots on the drive up ATM keys ?
←Rate | 04-16-2018 23:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The major cause of a divorce is the marriage.
←Rate | 04-16-2018 23:02 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon To have a happy marriage assume your wife is always right.
←Rate | 04-16-2018 22:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


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