JAKE Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life? ...... I do.
←Rate | 07-13-2018 00:37 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life?......... I do.
←Rate | 07-13-2018 00:21 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bar buddy ask me have you ever made a decison without knowing all the information you needed to know? I said sure I have..... I got married.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:42 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's so hot out that I've been sweating more than a drug smuggler going through coustoms.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:17 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon My bar buddy ask me have you ever made a decison without knowing all the facts? I said I sure have....... I got married.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so hot that I've been sweating more than a drug smuggler going through coustoms.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can lay on the floor without holding on...... You're not drunk.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 19:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it's alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?
←Rate | 07-12-2018 15:46 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Why is it a man's opinion can be express in a few minutes. Where a woman's opinion takes an hour.
←Rate | 07-11-2018 17:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard to get the sticky label off of a new non-stick frying pan?
←Rate | 07-09-2018 22:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your farts must really stink when you fart and your dog gets up and leaves the room.
←Rate | 07-09-2018 11:25 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Birth control pills are only tax deductable when they don't work.
←Rate | 07-09-2018 04:40 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the smoke detector sounds, I know the dinner my girlfriend is cooking is ready.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 22:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon To show my girlfriend I liked her cooking I had a second slice of her gravy.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 22:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old track star: "When I was young they use to time me with a stopwhatch. Now they use a hourglass."
←Rate | 07-08-2018 21:11 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ask my wife why she never blinks her eyes during sex. She said I never had the time.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 21:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claustrophobic people are more productive outside of the box.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 21:00 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that opposites attract...... So I'm looking for a drug adicted unemployed drunk girl.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 04:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got gas today for a $1.39....... unfortunately it was from Taco Bell.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 03:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have foreheads so you have somewhere to kiss them after a BJ .
←Rate | 07-06-2018 20:13 by Jake Comments (0)  




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