Gil Funny Status Messages

   I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out.

   Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing it's idiot

   Have you heard about the upcoming vegetarian Zombie apocalypse? They only eat grains....

   Your chances of becoming an Olympic Athlete are less than 1 in 10,000. Think about that for just a second. All Olympians should be proud of just having the opportunity to participate.

   France shouldchange the color of it's flag to match it's football/soccer team.....all-white

   Happy pagan fertility goddess and spring solstice worship holiday everyone!!

   When is it a good time to mention the Easter holiday tradition of eggs and bunny rabbits are pagan fertility symbols and the words Easter, Easter Bunny, or Easter Egg appear nowhere in the Bible? Not this weekend then?.....

   Rosie O'Donnell fired again from a talk-show, for the 4th time. Time to quit attempts at being so serious and go back to fat lesbian stand-up comedy.

   "if you haven't gotten laid using facebook, you're doing it wrong" - 90% of facebook users

   RIP Andrew Breitbart..... Ccaine overdose or heart attack hours before releasing Obama college partying video tapes.....yea right! BS

   "Hey Andrew Breibart.... Wecome to the club!" - Vince Foster

   Religion and morality don't need each other to exist.

   Best Film went to a silent movie made by Frenchmen and Best Foreign film went to Iran. 2 sure signs the world is ending soon.

   My ultimate goal in life is to someday sing 800-CASH-NOW in a JD Wentworth commercial.

   Herman Cain justifying being accused of sexually assaulting 4 women is like a drunk defnding 4 DUIs

   I'm a proud supporter of the Occupy sesame street protest.

   Protester Fail: Every Guy Fawkes mask you buy to show your support sends a royallty to Time Warner, one of the largest corporations in America.

   Wishes the protestors would occupy Iran, North Korea, & Syria, instead of Wall street

   Congrats Google Plus on being the new Myspace replacement. RIP facebook

   Thanks Sesame Street for telling us Bert & Ernie are not gay, but I'd like to hear it directly from Bert & Ernie.