BEGO Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all equally valid, but one thing breaks the tie in favor of Christianity: grilled cheese with bacon.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 21:49 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tip on getting a raise at work: Every day eat a cup-a-noodle soup for lunch and make sure to mention how you need to save half, because you know you will be hungry tomorrow.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 21:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 21:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know my name, not my story. You’ve heard what I’ve done, not what I’ve been through. If you were in my shoes, you’d fall the first step.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 21:47 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
←Rate | 06-25-2014 21:46 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon where did all these feelings come from and where can I put them
←Rate | 06-19-2014 00:56 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starbucks will provide free college education to thousands of employees. Unfortunately the diplomas will have their names misspelled.
←Rate | 06-17-2014 11:09 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls who are obsessed with celebrities need to get a life
←Rate | 05-26-2014 21:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try "blocked" number, but I don't even answer the phone for people I know.
←Rate | 05-26-2014 21:23 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my icecream. My point is, you're worthless.
←Rate | 05-24-2014 22:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.
←Rate | 05-23-2014 21:42 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Call me traditional, but marriage should stay between a woman afraid of being alone & a man who finally caves after years of her pressure.
←Rate | 05-23-2014 21:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
←Rate | 05-23-2014 21:41 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know I don't care about losing some people that don't wanna be in my life anymore, I lost people that meant the WORLD to me and I am still doing just fine.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 22:37 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sometimes you have to dream in the middle of a nightmare.
←Rate | 05-21-2014 01:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon At some point you outgrow feelings and you outgrow people. Its nothing personal. Its part of human nature. As much as we would want it to, nothing lasts forever.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 04:56 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I give my number to this hot sexy as@ bi#ch.. She said I will call you when I get home, I think that bit$h homeless..
←Rate | 05-14-2014 22:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hello modelling agency?" "Yeah,one of my Facebook friends has 189 likes on photo and yes she is half naked I think she is ready to go pro."
←Rate | 05-11-2014 23:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love can be such a beautiful torture...
←Rate | 05-10-2014 23:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When in a relationship, a real man doesn't make his woman jealous of others, he makes others jealous of his woman
←Rate | 04-12-2014 23:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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