nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If I could pick winning football teams half as well as I pick the stupidest, slowest cashier in Walmart, I could afford to shop elsewhere.
←Rate | 09-13-2010 16:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A girl wearing a pink jersey is not a fan of football. She's just trying to bang someone who is.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 19:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You post constant status updates about what TV show you're watching and what you're eating for dinner. You're not allowed to whine when people get excited for football once a week.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 19:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ‎"You see football takes concentration and skill....SQUIRREL!!!!" - Wade Phillips/NFL Head Coach
←Rate | 09-20-2010 11:50 by JW Comments (0)  

   messageicon So I was wondering. If I paid to go watch a football game and suddenly in the middle of the game all the christian players get raptured up into heaven, do I get a refund???
←Rate | 10-16-2010 17:25 by Steven Comments (0)  

   messageicon And on the final day God said ..." Let there be football!"
←Rate | 10-17-2010 11:45 by philfromwpg Comments (0)  

   messageicon Payroll for 53 over-hyped players: $168 Million, Big a$$ stadium: $1.6 Billion, Getting the Superbowl to that stadium: $100 million Everybody knowing that you spent all that money and your team STILL sucks: Priceless : D
←Rate | 10-18-2010 02:47 by BK Comments (0)  

   messageicon lets turn the NFL into touch football
←Rate | 10-19-2010 15:23 by James A Comments (2)  

   messageicon The NFL should change it's name to the little girls league with all these rules. Football is a violent and physical sport, if you get hurt, it's part of the job.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 13:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon hates Pro Football, but I watched Betty White and Abe Vigoda in a backyard football game....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit. Not like the NFL players.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 20:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinking they need to make pro football and basketball coaches wear uniforms like baseball coaches do.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 21:02 by KEVIN IN DALLAS Comments (0)  

   messageicon BEFORE MARRIAGE: Saturday Night Fever AFTER: Monday Night Football
←Rate | 10-30-2010 16:08 by Hannibal Comments (0)  

   messageicon Went out tonight, saw many women with hot costumes including Sexy Snow White, Naughty Nurse, Hot Cop, Horny Devil, French Maid, etc....but not one Will Leave You Alone During The Football Game and Give You a BJ during Halftime. The search continues...
←Rate | 10-31-2010 02:45 Comments (1)  

   messageicon hears there may not be any football in 2011, and would like to thank the Dallas Cowboys for preparing us with no football in 2010.
←Rate | 11-04-2010 21:37 by Robert the Bruce Comments (0)  

   messageicon Womens football. If it isn't raining I'm just not interested.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 16:07 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't wait for Thanksgiving!! No, not because of the meal and football games. Just found out I don't have to sit at "The Kids Table" again this year!!!!
←Rate | 11-21-2010 08:33 by Steve OH Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've just been given a six month suspension from football. I caught an opponent with a tackle and broke both his legs... I admit the tackle was a bit late, he was getting into his car at the time.
←Rate | 11-24-2010 19:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, there is Sit on My Ass and Watch Football Sunday!
←Rate | 11-28-2010 13:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:02 by Heather25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I also accept gifts in the form of beer, casual sex and football tickets
←Rate | 12-07-2010 12:43 Comments (0)  

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