huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The Human Brain is remarkable. It is the worlds most intelligent and advanced biological creation. The peak of human evolution. Then occasionally it forgets all that, like just now, when I went to scratch my eye and punched myself in the face instead.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 08:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Of course, now your life will be shorter than it was yesterday. Way to waste yesterday, MORON!
←Rate | 10-02-2012 06:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, lie and say you did.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 06:17 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What would we do if the T-rex came back? Sadly, scientists believe weapons would be useless. However, we could humiliate them by forcing them to wear tiaras which their tiny arms could never remove.
←Rate | 10-05-2012 08:51 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holding a baby is a great excuse to just openly pass gas without anyone knowing.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 08:08 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:56 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think that by now there would be rap battle re enactors.
←Rate | 10-09-2012 17:36 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
←Rate | 10-11-2012 18:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life has a surprising lack of dance battles.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 05:31 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon After you kill somebody with kindness, is there a way to "discreetly dispose of the body with kindness"?
←Rate | 10-21-2012 08:08 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was in a gang, I never know what to do with my hands when taking pictures.
←Rate | 10-21-2012 08:10 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ideal job is probably just singing the "Not this time" part in that En Vogue song "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)".
←Rate | 10-24-2012 05:42 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who live in glass houses must really hate birds.
←Rate | 10-30-2012 06:36 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if Gangnam Style is actually a rain dance and we've brought the frankenstorm down upon ourselves?
←Rate | 10-30-2012 06:38 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always eat tacos over a tortilla, so when stuff falls out BOOM extra taco.
←Rate | 11-03-2012 06:13 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn't in a band any more.
←Rate | 11-05-2012 06:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna get pulled over at 88 mph just so I can tell the cop: "Sorry, Flux capacitor must be busted. I should be in 1957."
←Rate | 11-09-2012 09:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
←Rate | 11-13-2012 05:45 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins
←Rate | 11-17-2012 11:09 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
←Rate | 11-19-2012 06:05 by Huck Comments (0)  



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