abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

   I have so little game I'm not even allowed to play miniature golf.

   I'll bet you the President gets his mail today.

   I just googled 2013 and it said the new Batman movie comes out SO TAKE THAT MAYANS.

   If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport. You'll get a free x-ray, a breast exam, and if you mention Al Qaeda you will get a free colonoscopy

   Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things of high shelves.

   If you are ever wondering who is rapping in a song, just wait 4 more seconds and he'll say his name.

   Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet & rub up & down. Yep that's how you wash a cup...

   "Let's save this so we can throw it away in few days" - Tupperware

   I wish memories were like text messages so we could delete the ones we dont like & keep the special ones forever.

   You know those intense unexplained pains you get sometimes? You deserve those.

   Just saw two people together at a restaurant and neither of them were texting anyone. Weird.

   Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck

   I put my facebook in her twitter then she was youtubing my google and I was going yahoo.

   If you're in a relationship for sex it's like buying an airplane for the peanuts.

   People are not mirrors, They see you completely differently than the way you see yourself.

   If I could slow down real life , like the fights scenes on a fighting movie . I would punch people more often .

   You know what's amazing? "how I met your mother"

   Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

   Someone needs to uninvent the internet so we can all start getting some stuff done.

   Just went to the kitchen for water and came back up without it. Now I have to go back to the kitchen.