Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon From now on I will be doing my laundry while nude. This way when I'm done, I will truly be finished washing all of my clothes.
←Rate | 03-15-2010 10:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishing I could invade my neighbors farms and take over their land in Farmville.
←Rate | 03-15-2010 10:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are obsessed with farmville, when your stomach is growling and you say, "Shut-up! I need to harvest!"
←Rate | 03-15-2010 10:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I feel like kicking you in the face ... but then again WHY should I help improve your looks?
←Rate | 03-15-2010 10:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not even a booty call, it's a drive by... hit it and go.
←Rate | 03-16-2010 16:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a sign on the back of a dump truck that said: "Happiness is getting your load off."
←Rate | 03-21-2010 17:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon convinced that if people really follow their dreams no one would get anything done 'cause people would just be having sex with everyone everywhere.
←Rate | 03-21-2010 17:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw some drunk guy chasing his shadow down the street screaming "Give me back my wallet."
←Rate | 03-21-2010 17:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are going to start thinking we're crazy, well just me, you went past crazy ages ago.
←Rate | 03-25-2010 01:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hate it when people say "that sucks" like it really makes the situation any better.
←Rate | 03-25-2010 01:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon But officer, I wasn't texting while driving! I was updating my status!
←Rate | 03-25-2010 01:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things to shout at Tiger Woods at Augusta: "Nail this hole like a Hooters waitress." Or you can say, "Now that you're not getting any, beat it like it owes you money!"
←Rate | 03-27-2010 05:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
←Rate | 03-27-2010 05:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do lots of stuff in my back yard that's illegal to do in public.
←Rate | 03-27-2010 05:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone else leave Best Buy without buying anything and think the security guy at the front suspects you of stealing... so you go out of your way to act friendly toward him?
←Rate | 03-27-2010 06:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a new Tiger porn with all the hoes he cheated with called "It's all in the hips." It's better than his first release "Tiger's 18 favorite holes."
←Rate | 03-27-2010 06:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I woke up this morning with a hospital arm-band on containing all the information off my fake I.D. WTF did we do last night!?!?
←Rate | 03-27-2010 06:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't tell your boyfriend that your friend is slutty... It will only intrigue him...
←Rate | 03-27-2010 06:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Police Station toilet stolen - Cops have nothing to go on.
←Rate | 03-27-2010 14:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon The cops came to my house earlier, claiming that my dog had chased someone on a bike. I said "Piss off, my dog doesn't have a bike!"
←Rate | 03-27-2010 14:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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