Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon “Go out there and get your ass kicked by Steven Seagul” - Script for everyone else in a Steven Seagal movie.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women just don't get it, That men just don't get it.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 12:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to spot single girls: If you hit on her and a man beats you, she has a boyfriend. If you hit her and she pepper sprays you, she's single.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 08:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 08:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nicolas Cage must be hibernating. Thank god.
←Rate | 09-12-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My name is Brian but my friends call me when they need a favour.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're happy and you know it go away.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would totally be in a relationship right now, but I prefer sex without complications.
←Rate | 09-24-2013 08:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fastest way to confuse a woman is to tell her she looks great now that she's gained a couple of pounds.
←Rate | 09-26-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched a twerk video that made me wish I was Stevie Wonder.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was wondering why my pants felt so comfortable till I realized they were still in the drawer.
←Rate | 10-03-2013 08:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; When a guy you don't know offers to buy you a drink in a club, he's not being nice he wants to have sex with you. It's not rocket science.
←Rate | 10-05-2013 14:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loving someone who doesn’t love you back isn’t as bad as trying to eat something immediately after brushing your teeth.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you decide to walk a mile in my shoes, it will likely just be a mile of circles looking for the remote.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, make them guess how you feel about them until they get tired and move on to someone else.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 02:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry Kanye, but you can't name your baby North West, then call yourself a "creative genius."
←Rate | 10-10-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's only a "good morning" if there's coffee involved
←Rate | 10-11-2013 12:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Panic Room is every room I walk into where there's people.
←Rate | 10-11-2013 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sharks and children, both can sense fear and weakness.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 03:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Home is where your neighbors see you walk around with no pants on.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 04:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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