Jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon ME: Wanna go out with me? GIRL: I have a boyfriend. Me: I have a test tomorrow. GIRL: And? ME: Sorry, I thought we were naming things we could cheat on
←Rate | 02-19-2012 18:41 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too many girls put me in the friends zone, I've got to take myself out. Its not going to be a safe haven to long. "The friend zone: where good soldiers go to die."
←Rate | 02-22-2012 04:47 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snooki plans to have a baby!.......... WHAT?? What did you say Kanye? "Beyonce's own was better!!!"
←Rate | 03-02-2012 03:02 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took them off. "Take off my shoes" I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties!" I took all them off. Then she looks at me n said, "I dont want to catch you wearin my things ever again!"
←Rate | 03-06-2012 16:33 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just told the waitress her arss look like two kids playing under a blanket...
←Rate | 03-06-2012 22:51 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon This man just said he date homeless women because you can drop them off anywhere
←Rate | 03-06-2012 22:54 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how once you dislike the personality/actions of one of your co-workers, EVERYTHING They do gets on your nerves/offends you . “Look at this dummy, eating those crackers & drinking coffee like she owns the place! Uggghh"
←Rate | 03-07-2012 18:14 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, screw it...I'm just gonna wait for the iPad 10 to come out. You know the clear one, has solar power, you can go deep sea-diving with it, and not to mention... using it as a bullet proof chest plate!
←Rate | 03-08-2012 02:25 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well Skittles Stock just took a plunge, again!!
←Rate | 03-28-2012 17:29 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon But in other news.... Etchy Sketches Stocks Went up ever since Romney's spokesman said He'll have to go back to the drawing board.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 17:31 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh so...they taking money made from Gas to give it to the winner of the MegaMillion Lottery!! Aint that some sh!t!!!
←Rate | 03-30-2012 18:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gas is $4.39 a gallon.... And girls think we're coming over to Just chill???
←Rate | 04-04-2012 21:36 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Easter Eggs are themselves when I tell them Chuk Norrris says "Hi"!
←Rate | 04-08-2012 14:33 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eggs hide themselves when I tell them Chuck Norrris is coming!
←Rate | 04-08-2012 14:34 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dude, you was that drunk..... When I asked you what happened to the bottle of Tequila you said...."I plead the Cinco de Mayo"
←Rate | 05-05-2012 15:44 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today will forever be known as Cinco de Mayweather!
←Rate | 05-06-2012 10:46 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess whose filing for a divorce....Tom's wife from Myspace!
←Rate | 05-21-2012 00:06 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl in class just pulled out an antique camera and asked me to take her a picture.....Anyone remembers how to use those 35mm diposable camera from Walgreens? I totally forgot.. Do I wind it up left or right b4 the picture?
←Rate | 05-21-2012 21:10 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever let one loose and it was too late? I just farted and didnt see the midget standing next to me.....
←Rate | 05-30-2012 16:32 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today My NASDAQ of friend reports: A loss of 3 friends, thats down from last week. So I need funnier jokes ppl!
←Rate | 06-01-2012 12:54 by Jitney Comments (0)  




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