@UncleBSolomon Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing '@UncleBSolomon': View All Messages
Page: 4 of 5

   messageicon Imagine: Naked in a room full of people who speak a different language & everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog. 🐕
←Rate | 06-17-2017 12:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact: All the toilet paper in the NSA headquarters has the 4th Amendment printed on them.
←Rate | 06-23-2017 20:49 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (3)  


   messageicon When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
←Rate | 06-24-2017 09:42 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (2)  


   messageicon Tonight the Mrs and I are having Netflix and Hide from adult responsibilities
←Rate | 07-13-2017 12:20 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was watching the old Night of the living Dead. I though how awful that would be. All those smoke detectors beeping from low batteries.
←Rate | 07-19-2017 11:38 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came walking in from the kitchen, and asked my niece for the phonebook. She laughed and called me an antique, Then proceded to gave me her phone.Long story short, the spider's dead, and she's in the living room crying.
←Rate | 07-20-2017 19:41 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Mrs is visiting her mother this weekend, so the dog and I are smoking cigars and playing poker. In our underware!!!!!
←Rate | 08-07-2017 09:48 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon My brother came out of the closet yesterday. He's not gay. He has Alzheimer's and thought it was the car.
←Rate | 11-03-2017 21:16 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] Me: I'm having an affair
←Rate | 11-04-2017 20:40 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new commandment. Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
←Rate | 11-08-2017 21:26 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon How was the winter solstice? I missed it because the stores were out of solstice glasses
←Rate | 12-24-2017 18:17 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is the first good sized snow fall of the season and honestly the weather on TV is acting like the terrorism threat levels just moved up a two.
←Rate | 12-24-2017 18:21 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must be getting old. Since when does 2 to 4 inches of snow become a winter storm warning? Back when I was a kid, we just called flurries, and we complained it wasn't enough to even have a good snowball fight, let along close schools.
←Rate | 12-24-2017 18:25 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (2)  


   messageicon Be right back, I'm gonna go pet that dog. Me, drunk, about to get butted by a goat. 🐐
←Rate | 12-29-2017 19:28 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon One good thing about this winter snow storm, is it makes my lawn look as good as my neighbors.
←Rate | 01-03-2018 14:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what happens in life, NEVER give up on my dreams. That is why I sleep till noon.
←Rate | 03-09-2018 16:49 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon I love millennials. Their are so many parallel parking spaces they don't know how to park.
←Rate | 04-01-2018 20:42 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am making an omelet out of Cadbury Eggs and jellybeans.
←Rate | 04-02-2018 17:13 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 19:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who else's favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
←Rate | 04-18-2018 22:01 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left