@UncleBSolomon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Imagine: Naked in a room full of people who speak a different language & everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog. 🐕
←Rate | 06-17-2017 12:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact: All the toilet paper in the NSA headquarters has the 4th Amendment printed on them.
←Rate | 06-23-2017 20:49 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (3)  


   messageicon When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
←Rate | 06-24-2017 09:42 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (2)  


   messageicon Tonight the Mrs and I are having Netflix and Hide from adult responsibilities
←Rate | 07-13-2017 12:20 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was watching the old Night of the living Dead. I though how awful that would be. All those smoke detectors beeping from low batteries.
←Rate | 07-19-2017 11:38 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came walking in from the kitchen, and asked my niece for the phonebook. She laughed and called me an antique, Then proceded to gave me her phone.Long story short, the spider's dead, and she's in the living room crying.
←Rate | 07-20-2017 19:41 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Mrs is visiting her mother this weekend, so the dog and I are smoking cigars and playing poker. In our underware!!!!!
←Rate | 08-07-2017 09:48 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon My brother came out of the closet yesterday. He's not gay. He has Alzheimer's and thought it was the car.
←Rate | 11-03-2017 21:16 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] Me: I'm having an affair
←Rate | 11-04-2017 20:40 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new commandment. Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
←Rate | 11-08-2017 21:26 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kicked out of another coffee shop it had a "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign. So I lit up a smoke & pay 50 cents for coffee.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 00:44 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


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