Will Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If I wanted a job where I got screwed every day, I would have became a prostitute.
←Rate | 03-25-2011 02:21 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi I'm the T-Mobile My Touch 4G. Since Apple gave Verison the IPhone and not us, we feel salty and are going to attack them in every commercial.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 11:06 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Frosted animal crackers, proof that this generation is too fat!
←Rate | 01-28-2011 14:02 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pissed. Somebody stole my 330 million dollars!
←Rate | 01-05-2011 06:38 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon A blizzard in January, and a tornado in February. I didn't realize how bi polar mother nature really is.
←Rate | 02-28-2011 00:40 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 10:00 by Will Comments (2)  


   messageicon Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing. Then I can continue killing you with beer.
←Rate | 01-22-2011 17:49 by Will Comments (1)  


   messageicon 99 bottles of beer on the wall. 99 bottles of beer. Take them all down skip the dam song, drink em all at once with a beer bong.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 00:31 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have to have a job as host of are you smarter than a fifth grader. Then you just might be a terrible comedian.
←Rate | 01-05-2011 09:32 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say you can't make jokes about blind people, just watch me.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 02:17 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:57 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy sees his mom and dad having sex. Dad says "were making you a brother." Boy replies " do her doggy style, I rather have a puppy.".
←Rate | 01-25-2011 12:41 by Will Comments (4)  


   messageicon How much teenagers care about politics. Regular topic: lol wat? Presidential election: meh. Threaten the Internet: it's the most important thing ever.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 13:22 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Class reunions are pointless now. Because of Facebook I see all you f*ckers everyday.
←Rate | 03-23-2012 04:47 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...
←Rate | 02-01-2011 09:54 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NBA has canceled the first two weeks of the regular season. In a related story who cares.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 23:05 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm dreaming of a 90 degree Christmas
←Rate | 12-12-2010 16:04 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 16:54 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's national cleavage day. Let's honor this holiday ladies.....
←Rate | 03-30-2012 15:29 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is the Sunday paper available on Saturday, does nothing happen that's worth calling news on Saturday?
←Rate | 01-29-2011 19:19 by Will Comments (0)  




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