Mickey Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Mickey': View All Messages
Page: 4 of 12

   messageicon You want to gauge how dumb people are these days? No, don't look at Dept. of Education stats, SAT scores or even IQ's. Listen closely to someone ahead of you at a fast food drive thru place an order.
←Rate | 02-01-2017 10:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm bored. Let's see, I'll take a pic of me with my dog, then tag it with 97 facebook friends, then watch 'em go cuckoo.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 22:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon MY Fantasy Football thing is about the Cheerleaders.
←Rate | 10-21-2012 10:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm really not a "know it all"... For instance, up until recently, I thought cunnilingus was an Irish Airline.
←Rate | 01-23-2017 10:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why didn't God use the same anchoring system for head hair as he did for nose hair?
←Rate | 02-01-2012 05:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was really counting on winning the Powerball. I was also counting on getting run over by a bus driven by a bear.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 07:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said, "You're driving me to my grave!" I had the car out in two minutes.
←Rate | 01-13-2017 15:43 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were an actual snowflake, ie the feathery ice crystal with a sixfold symmetry, I'd be highly insulted.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 08:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a terminal disease, that is sexually transmitted.
←Rate | 02-07-2017 13:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate Mondays more than a midget hates getting a Yo-Yo for Christmas.
←Rate | 07-08-2013 10:00 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching The Alamo Bowl on ESPN. My main concern isn't who wins, my main concern is if I'll remember it.
←Rate | 12-29-2012 19:40 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl sent me to the store to get her some pads. Brillo good?
←Rate | 01-30-2013 10:27 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas Schmistmas....March features the greatest holiday of the year. Any festivity that centers itself around getting drunk on beer, and stuffed on a big hunk of beef soaked in brine wins my vote.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 11:07 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon A hard-0n doesn't count as personal growth.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 18:23 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a druggist and a drug dealer? One sells drugs LEGALLY. What's the difference between an immigrant who came to the US lawfully, and one who snuck in? One's here LEGALLY. See?
←Rate | 01-28-2017 15:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Polar Vortex...nice term for cold air from Canada, media.... just watch,this summer, when the temps go into the 90's, they'll refer to a heat wave as a "Solar Vortex".
←Rate | 01-08-2014 07:22 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wedding rings are the world's smallest handcuffs.
←Rate | 03-25-2012 08:02 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife was admitted to the hospital last night. She's in the Expensive Care Unit.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:29 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was born, the day I was brought home form the hospital my parents put up a sign on my bedroom door: "Checkout Time 18 Years"
←Rate | 11-06-2012 07:07 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm such a slacker. It's a brand new year, and I haven't accomplished one d*mn thing.
←Rate | 01-01-2014 08:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left