Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Try this: Tell your children over dinner, ''Due to the Economy,We are going to have to let one of you go!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 07:29 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 09:27 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is all about A$$! You are either covering it! Kissing it! Busting it! Laughing it off! Trying to get a piece of it! ......Or you live with one!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 09:12 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to leave the paperboy a tip! I left some at the end of the driveway, in the bushes,by the sprinkler, everywhere but my at my front door!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 10:10 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it is so impolite for people to sneak up on you while you are talking about them behind their back!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:11 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was an Athlete in school. I Dreamt of running in the Olympics one day! Now, I dream of just getting my fat a$$ off the couch!!!
←Rate | 07-27-2012 13:33 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the jerk that has been stealing everyone's lunch from the company refridgerator, I sprinkled just the right amout of marijuana and cocaine on that sandwhich of mine you just ate, to fail that suprise drug test that is coming tomorrow! Karma Baby!!!
←Rate | 06-28-2012 11:01 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I've grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible! But pissing everyone off...that's a piece of cake!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 05:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''If all Men are created equal, where's the rest of your Pen!s?!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 13:50 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon One Day I hope I can afford an iphone like that girl in line infront of me with the food stamps!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 13:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called 411 and asked the operator ''I'd like the number for Melissa Fontana in Silver Spring, Md. ''There are multiple listings for Melissa Fontana, Do you have a street name?'' I hesitated ''Well, uh some people call me Snake!''
←Rate | 07-27-2012 11:17 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:15 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wsh mirrors, pictures, and what I think I look like would get together and agree on what I really look like!!!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way Police check to see if you're wearing your seat belt they should do to make sure ''Certain'' people are wearing Condoms!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 10:00 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sherman Hemsley(George Jeferson) has passed on! In his own words he would probably say ''Somehow a Honky is behind this!!!''
←Rate | 07-24-2012 16:34 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women sex toys cost money for Batteries! Men's sex toys cost money for rent, clothes, groceries.......
←Rate | 07-25-2012 08:05 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did flying babies in diapers wielding Bow & Arrows ever become a symbol of love?!!!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 16:01 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attorney General Eric Holder will take away all your guns!........ Mexican Drug Cartel ''That;s where I got mine!!!''
←Rate | 07-27-2012 14:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Country is at War!........with itself!!!
←Rate | 06-28-2012 20:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  




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